


Origami Bird

by cikicuba



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-12-26 15:15:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18284894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cikicuba/pseuds/cikicuba
Summary: Sometimes Racer Mingyu doesn't know if the reason why he keeps coming to the emergency room is because his injury, or the petite black hair doctor with a warm smile.





	1. Dancing In The Rain

 

_“I like to look on the bright side;_

_yes, someone stole my umbrella,_

_but I got to dance in the rain.”_

  

Approximately, today can be considered as Mingyu’s first time seeing the sun ever since he came back home for what he thoughts as a holiday. At least he wishes it was. Not when his manager keeps calling every goddamn hour to remind him about his upcoming race schedule so here goes the holiday. He’s been sleeping good enough anyway. There’s nothing glorious than keeping your room dark and snuggle inside the blanket, smiling for the nth times over that one scene on  _Sleepless in Seattle_  when Sam Baldwin and his son Jonah finally meet Annie Reed on the top of the Empire State Building at Valentine’s Day. So what, a handsome and tall MotoGP World Championship for 3 consecutive years isn’t allowed to be soft over romance-comedy movies? Oh yes of course, he keeps this for himself alright.

People had known Kim Mingyu as a tough big beast with no hesitant of winning in the arena. He goes to the gym like a breakfast, those buff arms weren’t built in a day. His height, exotic tan skin and silky brown hair is definitely an advantage. The scream from the audience when he gets up from his motorbike and takes off his helmet, fingers easily run through his hair with a smirk appearing on the corner of his lips. He’s the epitome of a fuckboi, the symbolic of the devil itself,  _yadda, yadda_.

To put it simply, Kim Mingyu is living in the public’s stereotype.

Mingyu glad though of what media had shaped for him. They don’t need to know. Mingyu wasn’t supposed to be seen on a sparkling eye when he read a book, cooking his favourite Crème Brûlée on Sunday morning, wearing glasses on daily basis, and putting high displeasure on being in the crowd.

At days like this, when his cute navy-blue pyjamas pants and a plain black t-shirt hugging his body tight, square thick glasses framing his face, white dull flip flops covering his cold feet, he just some regular neighbour you meet on your way to the corner convenience store. Or  _supermarket_ , as for today.

“Mom, I’m a famous racer.” Mingyu isn’t that kind of person but he’ll play dirty if it’s mean he gets to skip this.

“And I’m running out of egg. Do you want dinner or not?”

His mother is that fifty-something mother looking like thirties that seems always had much energy to spend the majority of her life asking about Mingyu’s personal life. Does every other mother in this goddamn century normally asking their child if they masturbate alright on a daily basis too?

“You need to get out anyway, you know? Strolling around the neighbourhood.”

“Why?” he asks, uninterested.

“Because you never do that anymore, of course!”

“Honestly, mom? Not interested.”

“Honey, your life isn’t just about racing. Your dad is going to say otherwise but I don’t. Go get some fresh air. Meet new people.”

His life indeed, yeah. It’s always about speed, winning, loud cheering from the audience, the engine sound, wind passing through his face.  _Period. Repeated._  But he just needs sleep, okay? Sleep solves every problem. It’s like the only free medicine in the world.

“You mean the cashier lady?”

“Oh quit being sarcastic, will you?” His mother is always a dreamer. She believes in magic, in some things like coincidences. Mingyu certainly did not. Cause everything happens for a reason, right? “Find a wife. I need a grandson at least one before I die. How about that one beautiful friend you brought here last Thanksgiving? Have you been trying to knock her out? Did it work?”

“Mom!”

“What?” Mingyu’s little shout seems doesn’t bother her. She wipes her wet hands on the apron and grip Mingyu’s arms softly.  “Or find anyone, honey. The one that makes you truly genuinely happy.”

Mingyu wants to blatantly defend himself by arguing that this is bullshit. He’s a tall-awkward-giant who doesn’t know how to act around girls or boys. He sucks in general, it’s in his blood. Fuck media and their fuckboi trademark. Have they ever seen with their own eyes him being confident about something called romance in public? Then it would be a fucking relieve. Heck, he even had his manager back him up for such questions whenever he’s having a media interview. Mingyu is hopeless. He just— inexperienced? He doesn’t fucking know anymore.

The funny thing about it is that everything seems started with someone like him in those movies. Someone who only had one friend once in a lifetime, someone awkward, someone with low self-esteem when it comes to romance and then here goes all crap bullshit about some boy, one special boy who’s looking at her right in the eyes and convince him that he’s the one.

_Yeah, Mingyu watches those movies._

In fact, that’s why he watches them anyway. He needs a medium to picture many scenarios on his head and then before goes to sleep, he replaces them with himself being the one who played it. Hopeless romantic much? Yep.

So Mingyu gets out from his cave aka his room and didn’t bother to change his already-three-days clothes. Screw his image. No one will recognize anyway. His mother yelling “ _Don’t take too long and for God sake don’t eat Ramyun in the_   _Convenience store because I’m cooking!_ ” while Mingyu is searching for his beloved flip flops. And then his mother running one more time when he opens the door, insisting him to bring the umbrella along.

“Mom, don’t you see there are nine suns out there? It’s like a hell parade.”

She just shrugs her shoulder while pinching Mingyu’s cheek like he’s some kind of kindergarten asking for candy. “You’ll never know.” Just like that, she winks and goes inside.

 

He  _did_ eat Ramyun. It’s a ritual. What’s best about Convenience store is you get to eat Ramyun by the window and see people passing by. It’s like a free cinema with unlimited scenarios and durations. It’s interesting in its own way.

Mingyu thinks he’s already been there for twenty minutes, thirty tops. He knows his mother is gonna be furious. His dad will be home soon, dinner in thirty minutes and no eggs. Eggs are his dad’s favourite. Well screw Mingyu then.

Five minutes later he’s about to get up from his seat when the rain starts to happen. It’s big. The one with dark clouds, thunder murmuring and trees dancing along in the wind.  _Mom, you did this don’t you?_ he jokes to himself. Mingyu’s about to reach his umbrella he put on the stool chair next to him when some bastard’s running through the door while opening  _his_  umbrella and then  _woosh!_  away.

Mingyu standing there in confusion. The cashier lady also did the same. “What the hell? Did you see that?” she nods a few times, still looking utterly confused. “Whatever I’m buying another one.”

So he goes to the section where they usually put the thing only to find it empty.

“Do you have another one?” The cashier lady shook her head, leaving Mingyu devastated. So he sits back to the previous chair. He’s sitting there like an idiot, wondering what to do. He tries to reach his phone in the pocket and  _again,_  only to find it empty. Of course it empty, he remembers leaving it at home.

Around ten minutes after so many conflicted ideas happening inside his head for example like running from here into the house, possibly get a fever and causing his manager to murder him. He thinks another option about maybe he just stay in here until the rain stopped no matter how late it is when a man comes to the scene.

His hair is damp, his backpack looks like it’s carrying tons of water in it, and he shivers in coldness. Mingyu gladly wants to offer his coat  _if only_ he bothers to wear one.

There’s nothing interesting anymore about the street except people running around so they won’t get wet, so he observes the man instead. He goes to the umbrella section to find it empty.  _That makes the two of us, bro._  Mingyu thought. He goes to buy some mini towel and a hot chocolate instead. It shouldn’t be surprising to see the man goes to sits next to Mingyu since that’s the only available chair in here, but Mingyu still automatically jumps on his seat.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

“Yeah. S-Sure. It’s empty.”  _Way to go, Mingyu._  The man rubbing his hand altogether, probably trying to shoo away the coldness but of course, it’s useless. “Bad day?”

“Bad weather,  to be exact. My day was pretty okay before all of this happened.” Seems like a bad day but the man chuckles anyway.

“Going somewhere?”

“Yep, a date with my boyfriend. But now I’m thinking about cancelling and head back home instead.”

“Ah, I see. What a waste.”

“Nah, I’m tired anyway. Coming straight from my night shift. The emergency room went crazy last night.”

“ _Oh?_  You’re a doctor?”

The man smiles, his eyes wandering outside; to the raindrops that fall through the window. “Something like that.”

“Cool. I heard you need a long time to study for that?”

Again, the man chuckles. “Long enough, as I can remember.”

Mingyu thinks he should leave the man himself. You know, to fix his mess and probably warming his body up with the hot chocolate. But he’s bored and also didn’t have his phone with him, so when the man asks does he lives near here Mingyu excitedly replies by mentioning his address in details and getting a surprising look from him.

“No way.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“Are you perhaps…  _Mingyu… Kim?_ ”

_Wait a second…_

A lanky figure, sharp face, black hair, firm eyes, soft lips, cute nose.

“No freaking way! Wonwoo?”

If there’s anything Mingyu learns for the past thirty years of his boring life, is that people indeed change to the point where you don’t recognize them in particular even bits. They never talked nor played together. They knew each other’s name but not necessarily a friend. They exchanged a  _hi_  once or twice without fully paying attention if they really meant it.

Mingyu knows Jeon Wonwoo. Of course, how can he not? Their house is right beside each other. Sometimes Mingyu can see Wonwoo from across the window sitting on his bed, hands gripping on his Nintendo console. He always played games. Where the hell he got the Doctor title exactly? That’s cool and Mingyu would never. His dad will laugh the hell out of him when he found out his son actually likes reading a book.

Mingyu also remembers Jeon Wonwoo used to knock on his door to give those kimchi pancakes. He knew where’s the duty came from because he sure Wonwoo will remember Mingyu also knocked on the man’s door to give them spicy tteokbokki in reply. Something about their moms and their hobbies to give each other’s food.

All of other people’s faces he’d ever acquaintance, he never thought he will forget Wonwoo’s for sure.

Still shivering in cold, Wonwoo laughs while throwing his head behind. “We forgot each other’s face aren’t we?”

“Surely we did.”

“It’s been what, five years?”

“Seven.” Mingyu corrects him and chuckles. “I had to go to New York after the accident. My leg, you know.”

Wonwoo’s brain sinks into the realization, remembering that poor accident which makes Mingyu almost retiring from his profession. “Oh, yeah! Yeah I remember. Is your leg okay now?”

“Never been better.”

“You know it’s weird,” Wonwoo changing his position now fully facing Mingyu. The outgrow confident radiating the other’s man is weird because Mingyu never saw him like this before. Their series of encounter always in a circle of either one of them was in a hurry or too lazy to pay attention toward each other’s presence. They don’t even talk, not like that.  So this is some kind of the first. “I saw your race on the tv quite a few times. They kinda play it everywhere,  _FYI_. But I never got a chance to take a look at your face since you always wearing a helmet and stuff.”

“Well safety first, remember?” says Mingyu nervously because he fucking doesn’t know what to say. “So what, you went around and tell people that you had  famous racer as your neighbour?”

“I did. No one believes me even once.” Wonwoo winks purposely as if pulling Mingyu to just going along with his jokes and not in the God’s name Mingyu ever thought  _this_  Jeon Wonwoo could be the teasing type.

They laugh together in sync and hit each other’s head. “ _God,_ ” Still laughing, Mingyu rubs his pained head. “I never knew you wanted to be a doctor.”

“You didn’t. We aren’t friends, remember?”  _See,_  both of them still remember that part very clearly. “Are you on holiday?”

“ _Was._ My mom banged into my room because she ran out of eggs.”

“A thirty years old man, a famous racer, getting yelled by his mother to buy her some eggs. What a crazy world we live in.”

“Shut up, Jeon.” Mingyu indeed growling in embarrassment.

“You don’t own any umbrella as well, I suppose?”

Great, Mingyu almost forgot about that stupid robbery. He had no intention to embarrassed himself even further so he just shrugs his shoulder. “As you see.”

Wonwoo is sipping on his hot chocolate when suddenly his phone starts to ringing. Mingyu can see the screen illuminating a name.  _Minghao_ , it says. Wonwoo picks it up with a smile on his face. A genuinely one. A smile that will warm anyone’s chest when they see it. His eyes also light up like he just been giving the best gift in the world. Mingyu envy that smiles, that eyes, and whoever that Minghao guy for receiving it all for him.

Wonwoo excuses himself by signalling Mingyu with his eyes, and Mingyu nods in understanding.

“ _Hey._ ” Wonwoo says over the phone.

“ _No, I’m stuck in GS25 and I’m all wet._ ”

“ _Yeah? Okay then. How about you come over instead? We can just do a movie marathon or something. I’ll make popcorn._ ”

 _That sound nice,_ Mingyu thought.

“ _I’m okay, Minghao. I’m a doctor, remember? I’ll drink some medicine when I’m home._ ”

“ _Yeah we can do that tonight._ ” This time, Wonwoo is giggling at whatever Minghao says on the other side of the line.

 _What will they do that seems like the most fun thing in the world?_ Again, Mingyu wonders.

“ _See you._ ”

And then he puts back his phone on the table. Still smiling, and Mingyu is conflicted between asking and changing the topic. “Boyfriend duty?”

“Yeah, sorry. We’re both busy and haven’t met in God knows how long.”

“I swear this rain has caused so many trouble.” Mingyu raises his hand and shows Wonwoo the eggs he should’ve brought home.

They decided to lost in each other’s thought afterwards. Mostly because Wonwoo is busy answering Minghao’s chat and Mingyu is not good at building a conversation. Wonwoo too, to be exact. And that makes the two of them. But Mingyu is bored, the rain still hasn’t stopped and he can’t pretend to play his phone to look less-awkward. The only thing that keeping he’s sane is that little music turns up from the store. Mingyu yanks his body when he hears something  _very_  familiar.

“Damn, I love this song.”

“What? The one they’re playing right now?”

“Yes. Listen.” Mingyu closes his eyes and tries to go deep into the song eventhough he’s been listening to it for God knows how much. But he wants Wonwoo to feel what he’s feeling everytime he hears the said song. So when Wonwoo closes his eyes as well, Mingyu couldn’t contain his smile.

“It’s…  _deep._  And sad.”

“I know.”

“What’s it called?”

“Exit Music by Radiohead.”

Wonwoo opens his eyes, peaking at Mingyu. “What a unique title.”

“You wanna know something interesting?”

“Mhm?”

“Radiohead was in the middle of their 1996 tour when they were approached by director Baz Luhrmann to record this song. It was meant for his upcoming film, Romeo + Juliet. And later on, they finally played it as the closing credits.”

Wonwoo nods, trying to listen to the song even more. “That explains the lyrics.”

“Yeah. Such a fancy tragedy song. It fits.”

“Fits what?”

“My taste? I don’t know, It’s confusing. I hate cliché, the cheap one. But I like a beautiful tragedy. Like Titanic.”

“Don’t tell me you go strolling down the town playing this song in your car while pretending like you shoot a music video.”

“I did.”

Wonwoo’s not sure what to do so he adds up a chuckle, eyeing from the side. “You joking?”

“No seriously, I did.”

Mingyu sounds so sure of himself so Wonwoo doesn’t say anything but gnawing his lips. It might look slightly a bit too tantalize somehow and Mingyu’s tiny brain screaming  _alert!_  out of nowhere. “But that’s not something I thought you’ll do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s just too sentimental.”

“This is something I don’t usually share to any random person but if we’re seriously going to do some Happy Go Neighbor Bonding Time, you should know that romance-comedy is the genre of my life.”

Wonwoo blinks once, twice, before carefully asking the question. “You mean like… The Fault in Our Stars and all that crap?”

“No!” Mingyu snaps, making the other man flinch on his seat. “Like 500 Days of Summer and all that crap.”

At this rate, Mingyu was no longer surprised seeing Wonwoo judgingly raise his eyebrows at him. “Really?”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, just—you’re different.”

And now it’s Mingyu’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Different how?”

“You’re soft, like, in a good way.”

“I’m soft?”

Wonwoo hums, tilting his face and nibbles on his lower lip. “You know I used to like you,” Wonwoo blurts it out like it’s totally a normal thing to say and it doesn’t affect Mingyu’s entire wholebeing. But when the man sees how taken aback Mingyu is, he laughs. “That’s a long time ago, yeah? When we were still a kid. I remember someone stole my ice cream and I sat there in the park, crying. I didn’t wanna go home, then you approached me. I still didn’t wanna go at first, but then you brought me another ice cream. Do you remember what happened next?”

Mingyu peering his eyes to the big tree across the street, trying to remember. “You still didn’t wanna go home so I offered you a piggyback ride home.”

“Yes.” Wonwoo’s smiling so bright it’s hurting Mingyu’s eyes. “I think I like you, back then. But now on second thought maybe I’m just thankful.”

“Oh.”

“Hey are you blushing?”

_Well shit this isn’t good._

“N-No! I-It’s just cold in here, okay?”

Wonwoo’s shaking his head in disbelief as if he just discovered something bizarre. “I swear there’s a lot I should learn about you.”

“We could, um you know, hang out.” He says that based on impulsivity and in the name of politeness, but when Wonwoo’s face split a smile Mingyu feels like being punch right in the face.  _Alert!_ part 2, beware of that warm smile.

“Aren’t you busy?”

“Not now, no. According to my manager I had a full-week day off and I already spent three of them just to gravitated towards my bed.”

So then Wonwoo smiles mischief and Mingyu’s stomach grumbles in a strange excitement. He doesn’t even know what Wonwoo’s about to say yet. “I had an idea. Let’s start now.”

“Start what?”

“The Happy Go Neighbor Bonding Time, of course!”

Mingyu scoffs. “I was joking, you know?”

“Let’s go outside.  _Right now._ ”

Again, Mingyu peering his eyes outside, looking slightly confused as if he’s the one who can see those heavy rain. “Did you just suggest us to walk in the rain?”

“We don’t walk, Mingyu.  _We dance._ ”

Mingyu thinks this is stupid. Two grown men on their thirties, mature enough to decide that playing in the rain isn’t the thing they’re supposed to be doing. But Mingyu guesses is that innocence but the sneaky expression on Wonwoo’s features that makes him stupid enough to be obedient. 

So they did.

The cashier lady eyeing them with such a look when they walk out through the door, welcoming the raindrops to their faces.

Wonwoo wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to dance in the rain because the moment he steps his feet outside, he’s running, and spinning, running again, and then spinning with a smile on his face. He looks up to the sky, closing his eyes when he feels the water starting to hurt his eyes. But he cupped his hands in front of his chest to hold the water and then splash it to the thin air. Wonwoo seemingly doesn’t care anymore about a few pairs of eyes passing by that looking at him weirdly under their umbrella. And at this moment, Mingyu wishes he had his camera with him so he can capture this magical moment.

Mingyu thinks his duty only to follow and observe Wonwoo while smiling at everything he does during this very weird occasion. So when Wonwoo pulls his wrist and spins him along, Mingyu is seeing the sky. He’s been happy, but not this pure. Never been this pure.  _Thank you stupid thief, for stealing my ugly umbrella._

“Welcome To The Island of A Misfit Toy!” Wonwoo suddenly screaming when still spinning and dancing them around. His voice trying to fight the rain and lightning.

“You’re crazy!”

“I know!”

“We could catch the flu because of this and you should know ‘cause you’re a doctor!”

“I don’t give a damn, Gyu!”

_Gyu._

The words send shivers to Mingyu’s chest in a way.

“I had another idea!” Wonwoo’s voice once again trying to fight the rain.

“So far none of your ideas is normal, Wonwoo.”

“Let’s race.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Let’s race to home. The loser has to grant three wishes.”

“But what do we want to race with?!”

“Our legs!”

“Wonwoo, this is stupid.”

But Wonwoo ignored Mingyu by preparing himself to run. He bends his body ahead and put one foot in front of another as a signal that this race is serious.

“One…”

“Wonwoo…”

“Two…”

Mingyu shakes his head and puts worry on his features. “I don’t think this is a good—”

“Three!”

Of course, Wonwoo is ahead. Mingyu behind him still needs to collect a little bit of his sanity before moving his long legs and easily catching up with Wonwoo’s step. The other man whines and punches Mingyu on his bulge arm. “That’s cheating!”

Mingyu is now ahead, putting a proud smile before turning a glance back. “How is it cheating?”

“Inequalities in our foot length!”

_Now that is funny._

“All’s fair in love and war!” Mingyu runs again, still laughing at Wonwoo’s defence words. Suddenly he feels the urge to win. To make Wonwoo grant his wishes. To spend another time with the man and his legs didn’t stop running ever since.

 

And just like that, Freddie Mercury starts to dramatically sing on his head.

 

_Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time_

_I feel alive and the world, I'll turn it inside out_

_And floating around in ecstasy_

_So don't stop me now_

_'Cause I'm having a good time_

 

Then he turns his head back, peering at the other man behind who’s now running happily towards him. His hair’s completely damp at this point and Mingyu bet that black backpack contains God knows what is now being a new home to all these rains. There’s something about Wonwoo’s smile that has been bothering Mingyu. It’s so genuine and crushing Mingyu’s chest in warmness. Feels like looking at children having fun and you just let them. You let them fly as high as a bird.

So Mingyu pretends to slow his speed.

Wonwoo seeing this as a high opportunity to step up his game and run ahead. Mingyu lets him. He breaths heavily while bending his body and hold his knees. Of course, it’s all just pretended. He doesn’t spend hours on the gym just to lose on this stupid race. But he wanted Wonwoo to win. He wanted to grant his wishes.

When Mingyu arrives in front of his house, Wonwoo also already in front of his. His bag’s already on the ground, maybe because it’s getting heavy but nonetheless he’s pretty energetic for someone who just running a couple of blocks away. Wonwoo puts both of his hands on the waist and grinning at Mingyu. “I win.”

Surprisingly the rain’s already stopped. Mingyu squat his body for a while before stepping ahead closer so now he’s standing in front of the other man. “Yeah, you did.”

“You have to grant my wishes, Mingyu.”

“I know, Jeon.” Answer Mingyu while bringing his knuckles up to rub his sore eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“My eyes. Just a little bit itchy. You?”

“I don’t know. But I’m happy.”

Both of them smiles.

“Letters To Juliet.” Mingyu suddenly says, confusing Wonwoo.

“What?”

“What you should watch with Minghao tonight.”

“Oh,” Eventhough his face is blurry and damp caused by the rain, Mingyu still can see the pink shades on Wonwoo’s cheeks everytime he hears Minghao’s name. The name is like a mantra and Mingyu tries to ignore the strange bashful knots inside his stomach. He should be happy for Wonwoo anyway. “Um, thanks.”

“Feel free to ask for another recommendation.”

Wonwoo chuckles. “Well noted.”

“We should probably quickly go inside, it’s freezing.”

“Yeah,” the other man bites his bottom lip and the urge for Mingyu to scream  _stop doing that!_ is real. “Hey Mingyu?”

“Yep?”

“If you happen to get sick because of this, you know where to go.”

Mingyu’s face illuminated by the orange sky and his eyes light up in excitement. “Will there be any special privileges?”

“Depends. What kind of privileges?” Wonwoo seems like enjoying this barter because he starts to pull out more his level of confidence and it honestly scares the hell out Mingyu.

“Dunno. Haven’t decided.”

“Can’t wait for you to tell.”

Mingyu thinks these little game they’re playing needs to stop because it honestly messing up with his mind so he replies, “Okay.”

“Okay.”

And then they enter each other’s house.

 

Mingyu is being welcomed by his impatient mom. She still looks the exact same like a couple of hours ago, an apron hanging on her body and her messy bun with a few long bangs falling beside her ears. “Why are you  _wet_? Didn’t you bring an umbrella? Why it takes so long? And where in the God’s name are my  _eggs_ , Mingyu?”

Mingyu is standing there looking at his mom, and then his hands.  _It’s empty._  Of course, it is. Because he remembers just now that he left the goddamn eggs on the table inside the store while Wonwoo pulled his wrist outside.

“Mom, how about we order chicken and Soju instead? We can buy some more to give it to our neighbour.”

His mom doesn’t say anything for a second, and a second later Mingyu had to run for his life while his mother chasing him from behind, bringing the spatula with her.

 

 

They eat dinner together with his ( _still_ ) angry mom who never stopped saying how insufferable Mingyu is that night. His father’s nodding his head, pretend to understand eventhough the three of them knew he wasn’t. After dinner, Mingyu quickly goes to his room to continue his sleeping ritual. He needed it anyway after all the crazy ideas Wonwoo’s been throwing on him today.

_Wonwoo._

The man jolts his body to look up across the window, right at Wonwoo’s room. Well, it used to. If Wonwoo hasn’t been moving yet.

Mingyu’s question is answered when Wonwoo enters the room. He’s looking like he just finished showering and Mingyu chokes up when he sees Wonwoo’s sudden bare chest.

He shouldn’t look. He should go back laying down and closes his eyes. Or maybe he should just close the window. Mingyu swears.  _He swears_  he was about to do all three options when suddenly he sees someone entering Wonwoo’s room. The man is also quite lanky with a mullet hair that seems to fit his well. Mingyu trying to create a picture on his head, imagining him with that hair but it’s just ended up making himself cringes. The man starts to hugging Wonwoo from behind while the other man’s trying to wear his t-shirt. But the mullet man grips the t-shirt and put it on the table. He starts kissing down on Wonwoo’s nape and he lets him. Mingyu can feel how slowly Wonwoo’s legs turning into jelly and in that moment he just—

_Minghao._

Mingyu quickly closes his window and lay back on his bed, feeling utterly stupid. He should’ve realized it sooner. How can he forget about the existence of that man? Now it feels like he’s intruding their privacy eventhough technically he’s not. Mingyu doesn’t know. It’s confusing. But he— He just— He wants to—  _sleep._  Maybe he just needs to sleep.

So he sleeps then alright.

 

Dreaming about dancing in the rain.

 

 

 

The next day, Mingyu waking up by someone trying to tickle his foot. He opens his eyes slowly to find only Wonwoo sitting on the empty space around the edge of the bed. His arms cross on his chest and he observes Mingyu with a funny judgy feature.

Well Mingyu of course, jolts on his bed. First, because it tickles. Second, because he wears boxers and boxers only. Third, because he’s embarrassed about his messy appearance. And fourth because Wonwoo is freaking here. On his bed. How in the hell—

“You need to grant my first wish today.”

Mingyu bringing his knuckles up to rub his eyes. “Already?”

“Yeah.” It’s nine o’clock in the morning and Mingyu already gets a view of Wonwoo biting on his lips.

“Aren’t you going to work?”

“Took a day off. Now, are you gonna wake up or not?”

“Alright, alright.” Mingyu straightens his position so he can sit properly in front of Wonwoo. “What is your wish?”

“I want to try.”

“Try what?”

“The motorbike.”

“ _What?_ ”

“The one you always use for your race? I want you to give me a ride.”

 


	2. Conflicted State of Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my knowledge about MotoGP and medical world is all based on what i learn from the internet and real life observation in some part. Most of them is a fiction; i made it only for the storyline purpose.

That one scene on _Dead Poets Society_

where Todd says he can take care of himself

and Neil smiles a little and says, “No.”

  

“You know Wonwoo, I’m surprised.” Mrs. Kim coming from the kitchen with hands full of pancakes on the plate and Wonwoo immediately stand up from his chair to help her. After putting the plate on the table, she cups Wonwoo’s face with both of her hands and smiles sincerely. “Thank you, dear.”

“No worries Mrs. K.” Wonwoo winks then heading back to his chair. “What were you gonna say?”

“Oh yes, yes!” Mrs. Kim also takes a seat across from Wonwoo, with Mr. Kim sitting on the head of the table reading his newspaper. Mrs. Kim always is the vocal one among her family. Sometimes Wonwoo pities that woman for stuck between her stiff husband and son. That’s why it’s a privilege for him to humour the older woman whenever he had the chance. Mrs. Kim likes the Seafood Pumpkin Porridge near the hospital so Wonwoo often brings and eat with her. “I was gonna say I’m surprised. This is the first time that child is home and get up this early. What exactly did you do to him?”

Wonwoo chuckles, mainly because Mrs. Kim who still referring Mingyu as _that child_ and also because he feels some sort of proudness on his chest after hearing the question. “Just a few tickles.”

“I splashed him _water_ , honey. And he doesn’t even move an inch.”

“Maybe try the tickle trick next time?”

“I seriously would rather call you out here every morning and get him up yourself.” Says her with a concerned face, making Wonwoo giggles.

“ _Mom!_ ”

Mingyu comes to the scene with his still freshly-from-the-shower hair and the smell of coffee soap. He sits next to Wonwoo, sort of makes the lanky man dizzy in some way. Not because Wonwoo has a weird kink towards every fragrant soap on the planet, but because of the sudden flashback to years ago when he buried his face on the crock of Mingyu’s neck and sniffed the exact same smell like this.

Don’t get the wrong idea, but there are only two people in his thirty years of existence ever piggybacked him. His dad, and this tall man right here. He’s always been tall. Taller from everybody on their classes and Wonwoo’s sure they shared a lot of classes together. To be very perfectly honest ( _again_ , please don’t get the wrong idea) Mingyu always made him feels safe in a weird way. He doesn’t even do anything but Wonwoo always followed him silently from behind in their middle school year so they can ( _technically_ ) went home together.  Just like that. Never more than that.

But Wonwoo is reckless. He admitted that. Due to his recklessness, he remembered one particular day on their senior year, the last day of the school before Summer holiday. There’s this one guy, the absolute high school heartthrob. Bad rumours here and there. And Wonwoo loved a challenge; he loved giving people a show. So he went to this guy, just to feel how it feels like to be kissed by him. They did though, in the dark school corridor close to the janitor’s closet. It went well, at least not after the guy’s hand started to wander into places he’s not supposed to be touched. How can he be stupid enough to choose a place where rarely people passing by?

Wonwoo didn’t want things to get too dramatic so he chooses to stay silent. It’s not that he never did this before. He’s a normal teenager, okay? But somehow with this guy... He didn’t want to do it. Not now. Not with him. But, _yeah_. His mind is one gigantic evil chaos. Nothing unusual. So Wonwoo thought _this is it_. He’s gonna be so fucking doomed.

Then someone knocked into one of the lockers, pretty close and loud causing both of Wonwoo and the guy to jolted in their place.

“Um, excuse me?”

Wonwoo remembered blinking a few times, looking alternately between Mingyu and the guy who also gives him a confused look.

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo tilted his head, eyebrows raised up.

“Hi so sorry to interrupt but this is urgent and you’re in front of my locker and I have to grab my book for study this Summer.” Mingyu looked like he was _utterly_ sorry, and the situation turned into Wonwoo was about to forcefully getting knocked out into one awkward moment you found in a sitcom pretty quickly.

Wonwoo shifted to the left, the guy too. Both of them didn’t look away from Mingyu when the tall guy effortlessly opened his locker and picked up his book. Still arranged his locker here and there, Mingyu suddenly spoke. “Aren’t you going home, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo peered his eyes to the guy and suddenly he felt scared. Like, really scared. He wanted to run away. Then his eyes taking a turn right into Mingyu’s shoulder and he suddenly feeling… he felt… “Yeah. I’m going. Um,” Wonwoo cleared his throat. “With you.”

Mingyu didn’t glance, but he hums an ‘ _okay_ ’ loud enough for Wonwoo to hear. After locking his locker, Mingyu smiled. “Shall we?”

The guy was about to reached for Wonwoo’s hand before he quickly taking a few steps ahead, catching up with Mingyu. In the dark corridor with only slight sunlight illuminated the way, they walked together.

“Um, thanks.”

“For what?” Mingyu asked. Their voice getting faded away as they walk further from Mingyu’s locker.

“Nothing, I just wanna say thank you.”

The tall man shrugged his shoulder, slowing his pace. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Wonwoo is so used to smiling behind Mingyu’s back without the man knowing about it so it’s okay. He walked behind Mingyu then, with a smile on his face.

 

“ _—Hey Won?_ ” Mingyu waving his hand in front of Wonwoo’s face. “Won? Are you okay?”

Wonwoo jolts on his seat, gathering his mind back into reality. “Huh? What?”

“I asked since when did you teamed up with my mom but you’re kinda spacing out.”

Wonwoo was about to answer when Mrs. Kim stops him by nagging his son. “Kim Mingyu, eat your pancake and leave my Wonwoo alone.”

Mingyu is sitting there devastated, gasping his mouth when his mom helps Wonwoo pouring the maple syrup into his plate. Okay, hold on, what? Since when this man beside him becomes _her_ Wonwoo? Does Mingyu went away long enough to this to happen?

“So what are you boys up to for today?” Ask Mrs. Kim after done helping Wonwoo.

“You know, just hang out—”

“—Mingyu is going to give me a ride with his motorbike, Mrs. K.”

Both of Mingyu’s parent are now looking at them. Mr. Kim even put his newspaper down and raising one eyebrow, questioning. Mr. Kim is one of a kind. Many people will find him as the competitive type, he hates losing more than anything. Racing is basically his entire life, his legacy, his pride and now he puts all the weight on Mingyu’s shoulder. But the man doesn’t scare Wonwoo. He can steal Mr. Kim’s heart easily if he wants to cause that’s what he does. He steals people’s heart away. He charms them until they on their knees, bending.

Sometimes Wonwoo wondering if Mingyu actually likes what he’s doing? But he doesn’t have the right time to ask. There are no such things when it comes to them. The question is too private. A touchy subject. They’re near far to be described as close. But Wonwoo’s glad they started it. He’s glad Mingyu is here. Wonwoo can learn. They have all the time in the world to learn about each other. After years and years doubting, Wonwoo wouldn’t waste any second of his time to hesitate on being friends with Mingyu.

“Honey isn’t that dangerous?”

“Fantastic, mom. Can you tell that to _your_ Wonwoo right here?”

Wonwoo moves his finger from gripping his knife to pinch Mingyu’s upper arm. “Thank you Mingyu, for the unnecessary sarcasm. But we’re gonna be okay, Mrs. K.”

“Be careful, son. Make sure to wear all the protective equipment properly.” Says Mr. Kim, now chewing on his pancakes.

“Dad, it’s not like we’re going on a race for real. I’m not gonna speed up or anything.”

“ _Shush!_ Your father’s right. If there’s anything happen to Wonwoo, I will never forgive you.”

“But what about if something’s happened to _me_?!”

Wonwoo giggles, enjoying the family’s banter. “I’m old enough to responsible for myself but thank you, Mrs. K. Shall we, Mingyu?”

Mingyu groans on his seat but he gets up anyway. “Wait here okay? I’m gonna grab my jacket first.”

“Then you’re going to lose ‘cause the last one get into the car is paying for lunch!”

And with that, Wonwoo woosh his way away. Mingyu groans again, following from behind. “That’s absolutely cheating, okay! You don’t even say start!”

Mrs. Kim widens his smile, silently looking at the two grown men in front of her. She shakes her head, a smile still illustrating her features. “ _Boys._ How old are they, really?”

 

 

“What is this place?”

Mingyu turning the car’s engine off and pull out the key before answering Wonwoo’s question. “Where I practice. C’mon.”

They get out of the car and walk side by side. The way from the parking lot into the field is quite far. The sunlight shining on them, making Mingyu’s hair turned into a brown-ash. He styled it up, with a bit of hair falling down to his left eyes. His black jeans hugging his thigh beautifully, with also a black t-shirt and black bomber jacket. His white Chuck Taylor looks slightly too bright compared to the others.

“Is it okay for me to be here?”

“Of course, you’re with me. I’m not scheduled to be here but let see if we can sneak in.”

Wonwoo loves that sentence. It’s exciting.

When they finally enter the field, Wonwoo’s first thing to do is gape in awe. The place is huge. It’s like one of the races track he has seen on TV, but without the screen, camera, and the crowd. Just an empty asphalt in the middle of broad grass. Wonwoo thinks this is so cool. Not every day he can see anything rather than people getting hurt, blood, needle, medicine, dull hospital bed, and more blood.

“This is awesome.”

“My dad.” Mingyu grips Wonwoo’s wrist softly to make him moves ahead. “He suggested the Korean Association turn this place into a practice field. Pretty useful, I guess. This is where you usually find the rookies practising.”

Mingyu takes Wonwoo into one big garage on the right corner of the field and again, he gaped in awe when they enter the place and seeing so many cool equipments which mostly he doesn’t know the name.

“I don’t have my motorbike here. This year’s season starts from Argentina and my team already prepared for it.” Mingyu walks ahead to approach a guy, Wonwoo following from behind. The guy widens his eyes when he sees them. He’s quite short compared to Mingyu. _Well_ , anyone’s technically short compared to that man but still. The guy also looks young, his pink hair matches his helmet. Wonwoo takes a glance at his motorbike that also dominated with rose quartz and a little bit bright serenity on its design. “Hey, buddy.”

“Hyung! Wh—why are you here?”

“Taking a break before the Grand Prix. What about you? Practice?”

The guy hums an _ahh_ while nodding his head. “Yeah, I’m practising. How come I not? Your dad’s scary.” tilting his head at Wonwoo, the guy raising one eyebrow. “Who is this?”

“Right, I forgot. Wonwoo, long lost neighbour. Chan, rookie.” Mingyu pointing at them alternately.

Wonwoo initiates his hand forward so they can shake hands. “Hi Chan, I like your hair.” 

“Hey, thanks! I like you already, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo mouthing _see, everyone likes me_ with such pride to Mingyu and the tall man rolls his eyes, annoyed.

“Do you mind if I borrow your motorbike for a few laps? It won’t be long.”

“No, of course! Go ahead. I’m about to take a break anyway. I’ll be in the lounge if you need me, yeah?”

Mingyu catches the key from Chan and slightly nods his head. “Got it. Thanks, buddy.”

“No big deal, bro. Be careful!” Chan shots while taking his steps away from them.

Mingyu then heading to the equipment cabinet to find another helmet for Wonwoo to wear. Wonwoo observing the man from behind. Unlike Wonwoo, Mingyu looks like he knows his way here and there. Everyone surely can see he belongs to this place. It’s like his kingdom, his rightful place. Everything’s just... fit.

“What is the equipment do you usually wear for the race?”

“Well first it’s race suit, of course. The suit usually customized for each racer. And then knee sliders, elbow pads, gloves, boots airbag.”

Wonwoo snots, rolling his eyes and move his way so he’s now also standing in front of the cabinet. “Why is there so many? You’re not going for a war.”

The tall man chuckles. “For us, yes, it’s a war.”

“What about helmet? Do we get to choose what colour we want? I like the red one.”

“You only care about the colour, don’t you?” Mingyu laughs, grab one of the helmets and put it over Wonwoo’s head. “Here. How does it feel?”

“Heavy. I can’t breathe. Get this thing out of me.”

Mingyu releases the helmet from Wonwoo’s head and ruffles his messy hair softly. His eyes move from the fluffy hair then into the man’s eyes. “That’s because the helmet isn’t compatible for you. Colour and design make it eye-catching, but a helmet’s most important purpose is safety. Helmets are highly customizable for each rider. It’s usually made of carbon fibre, also should be the full-face type with the proper homologation.”

“How do you define who’s the winner then?”

“It determined based on the basis point we earn from the Grand Prix result.”

Wonwo is standing there, dumbfounded. “O… _kay._ ”

“Confusing?” Mingyu smiles softly, tilting his head a little.

Wonwoo nods, _slightly_ nods, and then Mingyu laughs, and laughs, and laughs. It’s so funny for Wonwoo to see him laughs that way eventhough the laughs are intended to ridicule him. “Can you just give me a ride and then we can get out from here?” Wonwoo sounds irritated. That makes Mingyu laughs even more.

“Okay, c’mon.”

After a long debate about Wonwoo who doesn’t want to wear helmet and Mingyu absolutely against it and insist him to wear and their arguments continue by Mingyu lecturing him about how safety is important and all, both of them ended up with _no_ helmets.

“This is great. Can’t wait to feel the wind on my face.” Wonwoo climbs in into the bike, sitting only a few inches from Mingyu’s back and automatically hold into the tall man’s jacket.

“Shut up, I don’t wanna talk to you. You’re a grown-up, Wonwoo. You should be aware of your own safety.”

“Geez, Gyu, loosen up a bit, will you? Now go!”

Still feeling annoyed, Mingyu starts the engine and then push the grip. Mingyu goes slow because not every day he gets to carry someone in the back of the seat. He used to see everything as his own battle, his own risk, his own responsibility. And now with Wonwoo behind it seems… _odd_. Inside his mind, no strategy and timing are being counted. The fear of losing, death, pride being crushed, nothing. His eyes, it’s not seeing anything rather than the beauty of the field itself. How green is the grass, the blue skies, birds flying over the lake. He _can see_ those things.

And then he tries to speed up a little because Wonwoo’s voice asking him to loosen up rages so loud inside his mind. Once again, he speeds it up. Again, and again. Until it feels like they’re flying along with those birds. It’s mindblowing. Mingyu likes it very much he’s afraid he didn’t wanna stop. Reality pulling himself back on earth right when he feels Wonwoo’s finger touching his waist and send shivers to his bones. It burns, like being exhumed. But either way, it feels nice in every good way possible.

“This is so exciting want to do this every day!” Wonwoo had to scream out his lungs to fight the loud engine sound.

“This is the time and the _only time_ you will ever do it!”

“Can you take me to Argentina with you?!”

“Very funny!”

“Mingyu, c’mon! You can use me as your personal doctor if, _you know_ , something happens. Not that I wish something happened but still!”

“Not a chance!”

Mingyu once again speeds up his pace, bursting through the wind.

 

 

“Really? I drive you everywhere since morning, granted your wish, treat you lunch. I did everything you want! Now I also have to pay for the ice cream?”

Wonwoo’s eyes are focusing on the menu, trying so hard to think between Rainbow Sherbet and Mint Chocolate Chip. “That’s because you’re the richest one between us.”

“Aren’t doctors supposed to be rich too?” Mingyu grumbles to himself, not really meant the sentence to be a question the other man had to answer.

Wonwoo finally chooses the Mint Chocolate Chip as his final decision and nudge Mingyu with his elbow. “Which one do you want?”

“Rocky Road.”

“Ew, gross.”

“What? Why?”

“Ice cream and marshmallow? Are you trying to poison yourself?”

“Rocky Road is the greatest invention ever, okay. Literally every child’s dream.”

“ _Except_ , you’re not a child.” Wonwoo tickles Mingyu’s chin, obviously wanted to annoy the man. And then he tells his order to the cashier lady and asks Mingyu to pay.

They sit on the corner sofa, side by side. Why Wonwoo is there instead of sitting across from him it’s still a mystery for Mingyu. But it doesn’t bother him. It doesn’t feel awkward either.

“So what’s after Argentina?”

“I think it’s France? I never really memorized anything coming from my manager’s mouth. It’s about time before the poor man’s resigning because he can’t stand me.” Mingyu resting his back leaning to the sofa. “But enough about me. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Does Minghao cool with you spending your day off with me?”

Wonwoo snorts while scooping on his ice cream. “We’re not a teenager, Mingyu. He’s not gonna break up with me just because I didn’t spend much time with him. Minghao isn’t that kind of person.”

“He seems like a good guy.”

“He _is_. He deals with all my mess and _you know_ how messy I am.” Wonwoo giving Mingyu the look like Mingyu is supposed to be one of the people that knows Wonwoo best. “But the thing about him that really tingles my heart is that he’s very considerate. Much, _much_ mature and wiser than me. He’s asking whether I’m okay with this and that. When you build a relationship based on a mutual decision it’s actually pretty nice, you know?”

Mingyu is listening. The tries to remember Minghao from that night, when the man tenderly kissed Wonwoo’s forehead, marking his territory. His man. His love. “But do you love him, though?”

“Why are you asking that?” Wonwoo sounds a little bit annoyed.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude. I just… I happen to always question between love and reassurance when it comes to romance. It’s hard to divide—until in the end you realized you ruined yourself.”

“Do you ever feel like that, then? False naming love into reassurance?”

“I—" Mingyu hesitant. “No. Never.”

Mingyu ended up blushing when Wonwoo wouldn’t get his eyes away from him. And then Wonwoo starting to do _that_. He gnaws on his lower lip, presented himself in front of Mingyu in a way that makes Mingyu forget his own name. “Well to answer your question, I do love him. So much, to be perfectly honest. Do you ever love someone until it feels like your heart shrinking into a million directions, pressed into the wall? It’s honestly maddening.”

Well shit Mingyu _never_. Not that he never had someone special before. _Well,_ maybe he did fell in love. But never been shrinking to million directions, nor pressed into the wall. It was just a relationship. A normal one. They love each other until they’re not anymore. They fell apart, giving a big portion of ego between themselves.

“I hope it works between you two. I mean not only now, but always. I’m happy for you, Wonwoo.”

And just like that, Wonwoo is smiling and Mingyu smiles back at him. “Thanks. And we did watch Letters to Juliet last night, thanks to you.”

The news brings such a joy into Mingyu’s chest. He grins, eyes sparkling. “Yeah? And how’s that?”

“Minghao liked it, surprisingly. But I wasn’t very much, it’s too fairytale- _ish_. But the girl, Sophie, she reminded me of you.”

“Hm? In what way?”

“Hard to read. She looks tough, but her mind is conflicted. She had a lot of doubt.”

“Oh.” Mingyu doesn’t know that Wonwoo seeing him in that way. He kinda wants to know why but he’s pretty bad at making conversation turn its focus into himself. He hates all the attention. “Do you think she cheated on her fiancée?”

“Well their relationship was indeed unhealthy. I mean, they’re on the city of love doing the so-called _pre_ -honeymoon, but they’re okay being separated with each other to do their own things. Drowned in each other’s world. It was about time before they realized there is no love left anymore between them if you want to look on the realistic side.”

“You’re not supposed to turn this into a counselling season, okay? It’s a movie, Wonwoo. A little fairytale won’t hurt. And technically she’s not cheating. She just happened to fell in love with another person. The _right_ one, this time.”

They decided to not to discuss it even further but the conversation lingering on each other’s mind. Wonwoo despite his clumsy self and happy go personalities is pretty realistic on some point. People wouldn’t find him serious enough if they don’t swim deeper into his traits and acknowledge how he sees the world. Mingyu on the other hand, is pretty stiff. It’s hard for him to get out from his comfort zone; widening his mind. But in disguise, Mingyu is pretty committed when it comes to his cup of tea.

But they guess it’s okay. It’s so much completed each other. Enough for being a friend.

 

 

 

For the next two days, Wonwoo doesn’t hear anything from Mingyu. It was yesterday morning when he’s about to get to work and decided to eat breakfast with the Kim’s.

Mrs. Kim smiles when he sees Wonwoo but changed his features into gloomy when he asked her about her son. “Oh honey I’m so sorry, something came up. His manager called and he had to rush to Jeju last night. He’ll be back on Sunday to spend his last holiday here with you. Something about he still owes you two more wishes?” Mrs. Kim struggling when she tries to remember. “But anyway! He’ll be back, don’t worry.”

Wonwoo remembered feeling disappointed but decided to shrug the feeling away. “Can I have his number, Mrs. K?”

“Oh well, yes, of course! Wait a moment, dear. I forgot where in God’s name I put my phone.”

So now there he is, looking at Mingyu’s contact on his phone one day later, still didn’t have the courage to call the tall man. Mingyu must likely to be busy considering he had to go in a rush, right? He didn’t want to be a disturbance. It’s not like something urgent or anything. Wonwoo is just afraid things will back to the way it used to be and he doesn’t want it to happen. He hates the idea of them being back to only be an acquaintance.

Wonwoo made himself busy then. He worked in the night shift yesterday and continue during the day so he can go home in the afternoon. Today is Minghao’s birthday and for the first time in a while, he doesn’t know what to do and what to give. They’re not that kind of couple who’s making a big deal about birthdays and stuff. In fact, they’re pretty chill. Minghao probably won’t even think about today as a special day. But still, Wonwoo wanted to give the man something.

He goes to Minghao wine shop afterwards, still with the clothes he wore from yesterday and eye bags under his eyes. He hasn’t got a proper sleep and his body aches, screaming and asking for a rest. But Wonwoo likes going to Minghao shops, it smells good and all his employees are nice to him. He’s also craving to drip some alcohol into his system so maybe being here isn’t so bad after all.

Minghao smiles when he sees him, opening his arms wide enough for Wonwoo to come home into his embrace. So Wonwoo did it. He squishes his face into Minghao’s chest, smelling fragrant he acknowledged like the back of his hand. Minghao hugs him back with his long hands, petting on Wonwoo’s head and kiss it deep. Just like coming home. Their hands, lips, legs, automatically know its places.

“Happy birthday.”

Instead of answering, the man just chuckles.

“I still didn’t know what to give to you.”

“I don’t need anything.”

“But, Minghao…”

“Aren’t you tired, baby?” Minghao swings their body to the right and left, still hugging. Making Wonwoo chuckles in process.

Wonwoo hugs him even tighter, locking his hands around Minghao’s waist. “Yeah, but never of you.”

“Let’s get you home so you can have some sleep.”

“Will you sleep with me? We’ll make it a sleep date.”

Cupping Wonwoo’s face with his hands, Minghao pouts. “Yeah, let’s do that. But I can’t stay for too long. Got some business party to attend.”

“Are you seriously going to work on your birthday? That’s fucking sucks, okay?”

“Language, baby.” Minghao gives a quick peck on Wonwoo’s lips before rubbing his eyebrow softly. “I’m sorry?”

Minghao ended up staying for two hours before goes back to work. He tucks Wonwoo into bed and then spooning him, making it’s so hard for the other man to let him go. But Wonwoo guesses that’s just how adult relationship works. Instead of wasting their time to debate over something unimportant, they rather show how much they love each other in a way. They make things work. It’ll get better— _eventually_.

 

 

Wonwoo wakes up in the middle of the night with empty space on his bed, right where Minghao was. He shrugs the disappointment on his chest away, and then grab his phone to dial one number he’s been hesitating to call for the past two days.

“ _Hello?_ ”

“You know it’s rude to go just like that and leave your bonding partner alone." 

“ _Wonwoo?_ ”

“Surprise, Sherlock.”

Mingyu chuckles, his heavy voice dancing in Wonwoo’s ear. “ _I’ll be back this morning._ ”

“And you’re only telling that after two days.”

“ _Sorry, I was quite busy in here._ ”

“I know. I’m just joking.”

Both of them drowning in silence, feeling uneasy.

“ _Why are you still up?_ ”

“Nothing. I was just… I feel lonely.”

Mingyu doesn’t say anything for a moment and it’s honestly killing him not knowing what kind of expression laying on the man’s face right now.

“ _Let’s hang out then. I’ll go straight from the airport to the hospital._ ”

“My shift doesn’t finish until midnight and it’s… your last day off.”

“ _I know. We’ll make it work._ ”

It’s now Wonwoo’s turn to keep his mouth shut, having a doubt whether he should believe it or not.

“I’m gonna go back to sleep.”

“ _Okay. I’ll see you in the morning?_ ”

“Yeah.”

“ _Goodnight, Wonwoo._ ”

“Goodnight, Gyu.”

 

 

It’s nine o’clock in the morning and Wonwoo’s heart won’t stop beating so loud and it’s all undoubtedly Mingyu’s fault. He tries to focus on his patient, busying himself in the emergency room. There was an accident thirty minutes ago, a bus was hit by a reckless car driver causing a chaotic evil mess to the whole hospital community. There are several people getting injured and they couldn’t even save the driver’s life. Seungkwan, his colleague, sobbing on the floor after failing to save a baby and his mom. Everyone instantly put themselves in standby so they can do as best as they can to save all the patient. Everyone running around here and there, clothes stained with blood and hands carrying medical equipment. Wonwoo too, is dealing with one patient whose feet were stuck in an iron.

It was two o’clock when finally his team done dealing with the chaos and had some time to rest and clean up themselves from all the blood. Wonwoo sits on one of the chairs, looking at both of his hand filled with blood. He doesn’t want to move and he can’t even feel his legs.

“Dude, gross. Wash that.”

Wonwoo nods at Jihoon, but not necessarily taking any action either.

“What a morning.” Says Jihoon again, hands cupping a cup of coffee. His cloak reminds unbothered meanwhile Wonwoo definitely had to wash his. 

“Just another crazy day in the emergency room.”

Jihoon sips his coffee slowly before asking the question. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just… Something on my mind.”

“Minghao?”

“No, no. We’re okay.”

Again, Jihoon sips on his coffee, trying to appear like he doesn’t care. But they’ve been friends for as long as Wonwoo can remember. That’s just the way Lee Jihoon show that he cares. “Well I’ll be an open arm if you, _uh,_ ” he cleared his throat. “Need someone to share.”

“I know, Jihoon. You're the best.”

Seokmin and Seungkwan also coming in with a cup of Coffee on their hand. Both of them debating on something and anyone in a few radius will know from how loud Seokmin talks.

“That’s really him, okay! I saw with my own eyes.”

“It’s a VIP room, idiot. How can you just _see_?”

Seokmin looks irritated but he determined on winning the argument competition between himself and the other brunette man. “Well not in the room, but I saw when he was getting off from the ambulance!”

“Why didn’t they take him to the emergency room then?”

“You think they will do that? Not a chance, dimwit. Someone like him will definitely be given special privilege in any way possible.”

Special privilege.

_“Will there be any special privileges?”_

“What happened to him?”

Seokmin scratch his forehead, thinking. “I think his taxi is right behind the bus? It’s pretty bad.”

“Poor him. The upcoming race is in three days, though.”

Wonwoo’s heart falls into the pit of his stomach.

He tries to take his phone out then dial Mingyu’s number, ready to burst into tears when there is still no answer on the third ring. But he breaths in relieve when someone finally picks up the phone.

“Hello?" 

Not Mingyu’s voice.

“Hi… Is Mingyu there?”

“Who is this?”

“I—” Wonwoo pinching his cloak, questioning himself. _Who am I?_ “Wonwoo. Just tell him that I called. I want to—I just want to know if he’s okay.”

Wonwoo hears the man talking to someone, whispering on the other side of the line before gets back to him. “Wonwoo?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Can you come to Seoul National University Hospital now?”

 

 

“I’m okay, Wonwoo.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Jeonghan hyung was exaggerating. You can see it yourself that I’m okay!”

“It might be internal bleeding or something. We’ll wait until the MRI result come out.”

Mingyu leans his body into the hospital bed, trying to calm his mind. He closes his eyes for a moment before opening it again, seeing Wonwoo in a worry features looking like he’s about to burst into tears. “Please.” Mingyu breaths. “ _Please_ don’t cry. It was nothing. I’m okay.”

“It was my fault. If only you go straight to home instead of here.”

“How in the hell this was your fault?” Mingyu takes a glance at his manager who’s sitting on the sofa, busy with his phone.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jeonghan asks casually.

“How can you tell him I was here?”

“Why do you blame me? You said that you know him when I asked!”

“Yes but you could’ve just lie or something! Why did you tell him to come here? Now look what happened!”

“Okay hear me out big guy,” Jeonghan gets up from his seat, slowly approaching them. “I’m busy enough, okay? I have to clarify the situation and tell all those hungry reporters and the world that you’re not dead. Problem with your boyfriend, you deal it yourself.”

“Not. My boyfriend.” Mingyu grits his teeth, feeling embarrassed.

“Whatever. Please talk, both of you. I’m gonna be outside.”

“Hyung!”

Jeonghan escorts his way out of the room.

_Well, that went well._

Mingyu bringing his eyes back into Wonwoo. The man still looking as sad as five minutes ago.

“Will you still be able to race?”

“Oh my God. _Yes_ , of course I am. Do you want to check it yourself if you don’t believe my doctor that much?”

Wonwoo _did_.

He checks on Mingyu just like he checks his other patient. His hands were still full of the blood from before. Wonwoo does all the procedure and Mingyu is laying there, amused. Wonwoo even checks Mingyu’s temperature with his hand, then compare it with his own body temperature. Mingyu skin tingling, burning, and contemplating all the touch. That worry eyes Wonwoo giving him, like Wonwoo’s world is going to crumble and Mingyu is confused why in the almighty hell will that happened.

“Am I okay doctor Jeon?”

“We still have to wait for the MRI.”

“We’ll wait, then. Now can you stop looking at me like I’m gonna die in any second?”

It took a good minute before Wonwoo responding. He shifts on his seat, moving awkwardly and then clear his throat. “Okay but let me stay here.”

“ _Here?_ ”

“Yeah. I’ll take care of you.”

“Wonwoo, I can take care of myself just fine.”

Wonwoo smiles. That smile which makes Mingyu questioning his own sanity. Turning his legs into jelly. _That goddamn smile_. “No.”

Mingyu puts a lot of effort on himself to gain his power and decline the offer. Because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what will happen if Wonwoo stays here with him. Mingyu’s brain circuiting on its own. _Fucking brain_.

“I don’t think I will have a heart seeing you struggle sleeping on the sofa, Wonwoo. It must be uncomfortable. Go home, okay?”

“I won’t be sleeping on the sofa, though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Second wish.” Wonwoo nibbles on his lower lips, tilting his head cutely. His eyes fill in excitement, something wild, and Mingyu is nervous. Wonwoo makes him nervous. Wonwoo and his crazy mind. Mingyu can’t keep up. He could never decipher. “I want to sleep in the bed. Beside you.”

 

 


	3. Red Roses & White lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things get pretty messy. pls don't kill me. i love u guys all.

“I’m bleeding and it kind of feels nice,

 but it was an accident, so I’m perfectly fine.” 

 

“Wonwoo, what are you doing?”

Mingyu’s voice echoed into the bathroom where Wonwoo was gone minutes ago and hasn’t come back ever since. He waits for an answer, but the other man seems occupied by something. So Mingyu grabs his phone and immediately check it. His notification is pretty much in chaos; missed call from Wonwoo, Jeonghan, his mom, and a few other friends asking about his condition whose pretty much must be hearing the fake news.

He didn’t even know what the fuck goes on with his life today. _Yes_ , the taxi he was riding bumped into the bus, bounced off a few meters from the street and also hit an electricity pole. _Sure_ , he was shocked a little bit but overall he was okay. He’s not even bleeding, nor break some bones. He got out from the car and then people started to swarm around, forcing him to get into the ambulance along with another injured people. He was confused, so he did what they said to prevent a bigger riot. It’s all good until one of the nurses recognized who he is and things have gotten out of hand ever since. The nurse helped him called his manager and then there he is, getting a VIP room all for himself when he’s not even in pain even a bit.

_Speaking about Jeonghan._

Mingyu open the man’s contact and hit the message button in a hurry.

 

 

_Enjoying urself after betraying me?_

Sent 21.09

 

_did the sleepover went well? I heard the wall is soundproof so it must be a good thing :)_

Received 21.11

 

_first of all it’s not a fucking sleepover n second it doesn’t matter if it soundproof or not cause we’re not doing anyth inappropriate!!_

Sent 21.12

 

_i don’t need explanation about what goes on in there, champ. not my business_

_although I admit im a bit disappointed_

_how come u didn’t tell me about ur little mistress_

_im basically ur human diary_

Received 21.14

 

_he’s just a neighbour and my old classmate_

_mom likes him very much_

_he's kinda had a boyfriend though_

Sent 21.15

 

_ouch did I hear someone’s heart about to break?_

_I don't think this is good idea honey what in the world are u doing with someone else’s boyfriend_

Received 21.16

 

_TOLD U WE’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING_

_there’s nothing to be worried about_

Sent 21.17

 

_Still didn’t approve :)_

Received 21.18

  

Mingyu was about to furiously replied and revenged on Jeonghan’s last remark when Wonwoo coming out from the bathroom wearing a t-shirt that absolutely too big for his own good. His left side collarbones are open for a free look due to the width of the shirt which isn’t comparable to his tiny shoulder. Wonwoo is out there, walking towards Mingyu with his innocent feature yet still dangerous and Mingyu is absolutely devastated to the point he had to pinch himself quietly.

“…Did you just wear my clothes?”

Wonwoo shrugs his shoulder casually. “Yeah. And your underwear too.” After plugging his phone into the charger he nudges Mingyu with his elbow, asking the man to shift so he can lay beside him. “Your mother only brings clothes for you and I don’t usually put some clean clothes in my locker. Why?”

Mingyu is trying to keep his expression to be as plain as possible because nothing’s wrong with two guy friends sharing clothes, right? “Oh. Um, okay. Hey Won, by the way...”

“Yep?”

“Can you get rid of this? I already feel weird wearing hospital clothes and this infusion really made me feel uncomfortable. Please?”

“Oh, you spoiled child. If I get fired because of this you’re responsible for my living cost.” Wonwoo sighs, going back into the bathroom to clean his hands. After coming back he starts to remove the infusion from Mingyu’s hand and then cover the injection marks with some cotton he accidentally found on his bag. “So, I’ve got your laptop and some popcorn right here. Ready to our movie night?”

Mingyu opening his laptop and connect it to the hospital’s WIFI. “Only if we don’t watch horror or something.”

“What do you want to watch, then?”

“I’m feeling like romance-comedy.” 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “You _always_ feel like romance-comedy. Do you want to bore me to death?”

“What is it with you and romance-comedy?” Mingyu eyeing the man beside him weirdly. 

“Nothing. It’s just… I can’t stand anything cringe. Also, most of them won’t happen in real life anyway. They bumped into each other and it was love at first sight? Oh please, we’re adults. We need something more down to earth.”

“I told you it’s just a movie, Wonwoo. The purpose of making movies with so many different genres is to widen your imagination. If we’re watching some fine ass male assassin saving the love of his life, that’s practically happened in real life? I think not.”

“Fine, let’s watch those favourite movie of yours. But If I get bored in the middle it’s all your fault.”

Mingyu is grinning so wide his cheeks hurt. “You won’t get bored.”

 

So the next hours goes like this: they’re watching _Sleepless in Seattle_ first and Mingyu seems _extremely_ excited to show the other man the whole movie. But Wonwoo isn’t let things go easily. His sceptical comment leaving Mingyu devastatingly annoyed but he can’t do anything about it either. _How in the hell the did child buy a plane ticket for himself when he doesn’t even have an ID? And why is the flight attendant letting eight years old kid fly all by himself all the way into New York without even questioning it? What possibly he can do? That doesn’t even make sense in so many ways possible, okay._ Mingyu takes a deep breath and ignoring the man beside him.

The second movie they’re watching is _When Harry Met Sally_ and Wonwoo surprisingly seems to be teamed up with the male character. 

“I agree with that man. He’s cool.” 

“Who? Harry?”

“Yeah. All those things he said about men and women can’t be friends and the sex part always gets in the way? Absolutely true.”

“No it wasn’t! I had lots of male and female friends and I don’t automatically want to bang them up.”

“That’s because you’re a scared little puppy, Gyu.” Wonwoo does that thing again when he tickles Mingyu’s chin with his fingers.

“I’m serious! I mean look at us. We’re friends, we’re laying beside each other and all we do is talk. We didn’t want to jump on each other. No sex involved.”

“Who said I didn’t want to jump on you?” Wonwoo smirks and Mingyu’s soul seems like leaving his body.

He knows Wonwoo is just teasing. _He knows_. But he can’t help but blush, pink shades all over his cheeks. He gulps due to his nervousness, his tongue tied tight. It’s basically one trainwreck of embarrassment all coming from Mingyu’s inner self and that’s actually pretty bad considering he’s not a highschooler anymore so sex shouldn’t be an odd topic to talk about.

The thing is, Mingyu tends to say stupid things when he’s nervous. And didn’t he said Wonwoo makes him nervous? “So you want to jump on me, then?” 

Mingu almost, _almost_ close his eyes after realizing what the fuck did he just said. He’s scared of how Wonwoo will react. He doesn’t want to hear the man’s answer. And he wants this conversation to be over right now. But Wonwoo just peering his eyes at Mingyu, hands folding in front of his chest just like thirty minutes ago.

“You see, Gyu,” Wonwoo shifts so he can sit more upright. “I found you attractive. _Very much_ , in this case. I’m not planning on making you fly high in the air but have you seen yourself in front of the mirror? If I were you I’d pretty much fuck myself on a daily basis.”

Mingyu _chokes_. He chokes so hard he had to grab the water bottle and drink in a hurry. Then he chokes more, and more, and his lungs are about to dysfunction. “You can’t just bluntly said things like that, Wonwoo!”

“Why? I’m just stating a fact.” The man shrugs his shoulder casually. “Do you still want to know whether I want to bang you up or not?”

“No, please!”  Mingyu keeps coughing while patting his chest, face red. “ _Please_. Keep that for yourself.”

After that bizarre conversation, Mingyu isn't dared to look Wonwoo right in the eyes nor glance at the man even a bit. He sits stiff, causing his back to hurt and making several joints on his neck scream in pain. But Wonwoo seems fine. They’re watching _You’ve Got Mail_ for the third movie and Mingyu jolts when hearing Wonwoo’s voice after a few torture minutes in silence.

“Mingyu?”

Mingyu sighs. He hates how good his name when Wonwoo the one who's saying it. “Yeah?”

“Do we really have to watch Meg Ryan fall in love over and over again? I mean we already watched three movies so far and I’m so sick of seeing her in so many different types of hairstyle.”

Mingyu peering at the man beside him and suddenly feeling anxious about Wonwoo’s head on his shoulder. _Since when it was there?_ Still chewing his popcorn while hugging the bucket, Wonwoo grabs some more and feed Mingyu directly. Mingyu, _again_ , trying to not overthink like he always does and opens his mouth everytime he sees Wonwoo’s slim fingers in front of his mouth. “Do you want to go to sleep, then?”

“I’m not sleepy either.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“Wait, let me grab my phone.”

Mingyu pressing the pause button and move his laptop to the table beside him. He looks at Wonwoo walking towards the bed again with his phone this time, still showing his white collarbones for free and Mingyu hates himself for secretly enjoying the view. When Wonwoo finally sits beside him, Mingyu adjusting the clothes so it won’t show that much part of Wonwoo’s body. The man seems fine with it, he doesn’t even filch when Mingyu’s finger slightly touching his skin.

“Let’s play some game.” Says him after a good minute focus on searching something on his phone.

“I suck at gaming.”

“Not that kind of game, silly.” Wonwoo eyes wandering to the table beside Mingyu, to the table near the sofa, and then everywhere in the room. “Is there any tissue in here?”

Mingyu shrug, now also wandering to the whole room. “I don’t think so.”

And then he goes back to focus on this phone, holding it with his left hand and pointing his right fingers to Mingyu’s face. “Help me lick it.”

“ _W-What?_ ”

“My fingers, Mingyu. Still dirty with popcorns.”

“Wonwoo…”

“Mingyu, hurry. I gotta search something first.”

It was wrong. If you see it on many different sides, it _stills_ wrong. Sharing clothes, fine. Casually talking about sex, he thinks he can handle it. But licking fingers? Is that what friends usually do?

Mingyu hands trembling when he reaches for Wonwo’s thumb and lick it first. He tries to not think of anything right now. In fact, his mind is trying hard to think about the most embarrassing moments he's ever had on his thirty years of existence. Fart in front of the reporters when doing an interview about his first championship, accidentally entered the wrong hotel room a few years ago in Rome when there’s a couple doing foreplay in their kitchen. He tries to think more, anything, so something down there wouldn’t grow big just because he’s licking some fingers. And then his mouth moves to Wonwoo’s index finger, and the middle finger, and suddenly his mind goes blank. It was completely black and all he can think about is Wonwoo’s slim and beautiful fingers, Wonwoo’s tender lips, Wonwoo’s delicate smile, Wonwoo’s small waist, Wonwoo’s _collarbones_.

Mingyu starts to vigorously lick the man’s middle fingers from the base into the top, sucking it like his life is gonna end today. Like it was the last thing he will ever do as a human being and Mingyu cannot wait to die afterwards. Fuck everything, he wants to do this. He’s losing his mind and his sanity. And then he hears Wonwoo _moans_ and Mingyu just— _he just—_

“Mingyu…”

“Oh my God.” Mingyu release his grip as if it’s burning. His eyes goggle out, his mind is in chaos, and he shifts his body away from Wonwoo. “Shit. I’m so sorry. Wonwoo, _i—_ ” Mingyu thinks he’s going to cry and he didn’t know why. But his eyes are hot, the tears are on the verge but nothing's come out. His eyes trembling and he’s scared. He just ruined everything. He bet Wonwoo will leave right now. _Immediately_. He will run back home, probably crying in Minghao’s embrace for being sexually abused and then the man will come after him, beating the hell out of Mingyu.

Jesus fucking Christ, _Minghao_.

Why does he keep forgetting the existence of that man?

“ _I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry._ Wonwoo, please don’t be mad. Don’t leave. I— _please_. It’s my fault.” There’s so much misery on his voice. He’s desperate.

“Mingyu, hey.”

“Please don’t leave… please.”

Wonwoo cups the pity man’s face slowly, forcing him to look at him right in the eyes. “Who said anything about leaving?”

“ _I—_ I made a mistake. We’re friends. And friends don’t… suck each other’s fingers like that, Wonwoo.”

“Gyu, it’s not a big deal. Really.”

“But—”

“Breath, okay?” So Mingyu breathes. He closes his eyes and calms himself down. Wonwoo is trying to get closer to him but Mingyu draw himself even further and it’s seriously hurting either both of them. But Wonwoo isn’t gonna give up just like that. He pulls Mingyu’s wrist so they can lay again side by side, then Wonwoo tilts his body sideways so he can rub Mingyu’s cheek softly. He put his own cheek on top of Mingyu’s shoulder, finding the position quite comfortable. “Still up for the game?”

“Um,” Mingyu cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Do you know what Q&A is?”

“Yeah?”

“Good. This is a game about 36 questions between strangers. Each question supposed to lead someone to become closer one another, to know each other more, some sort of like that. We have to take turns in answering. Is that okay?”

“I guess so.”

“Okay. You first. Read the question so I can answer it.”

Mingyu grabs the phone from Wonwoo’s hand. He shifts a little, moving the man’s head from his shoulder into his upper arm. The position makes Wonwoo buried in Mingyu’s chest and he likes feeling Wonwoo’s breath tickles into his skin. “Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?”

Mingyu murmuring _what? what kind of question is that?_ Making Wonwoo chuckles and pinch his nose. “I would like Benedict Cumberbatch as my dinner guest.”

“You just blurting any random person on your mind, don’t you?”

“No, I really do want Cumberbatch as a dinner guest. I somehow feel like we could really click, you know? He’s smart and so do i. Cast him as Sherlock Holmes was the best decision BBC has ever made. Also, he looks hot with a beard.”

“That argument is valid only for yourself.”

“I know. My answer, my rules. Now it’s your turn.” Wonwoo taking his phone back, pressing the next button and a new question pop up. “Would you like to be famous? In what way?”

“I already am.”

 Wonwoo snorts, now pinching Mingyu’s waist playfully. “I don’t take cocky answers.”

“My answer, my rules, _Jeon_.”

“Whatever. Next question please.”

Mingyu takes the phone and asking the next question then. “When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?”

Wonwoo smiles, eyes crinkle in a way that makes his face looks small and soft. “God, I don’t remember? I'm not usually singing to someone else, either. _Oh!_ Is birthday song counts? I pretty much sang Minghao a happy birthday yesterday."

“I think it’s counted? But to make it valid you can just sing something to me right now.”

“You want me to sing for you?” One of Wonwoo’s eyebrow raises with a sign of surprise.

“Do you mind?”

“No, let me think of a song.”

So Mingyu waits while Wonwoo thinks of a song. He’s trying to be braver this time; fingers touching Wonwoo’s nose and then slowly move to his eyebrow. When Mingyu’s finger finally touching his eyelid, Wonwoo flinches and close his eyes in reflect. He looks so harmful, a newborn baby coming from his mother’s womb and Mingyu just wants to give all the love and affection he could possibly give.

“ _I’ve been alone with you inside my mind…_ ”

Mingyu smiles when Wonwoo started to sing. It’s honestly not a good voice or something, just Wonwoo’s heavy voice surrounding the thin air. But it’s everything. Wonwoo is perfect the way he is and no one can tell Mingyu otherwise.

“ _…and in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times... I sometimes see you pass outside my door… Hello… Is it me your looking for?_ ”

Wonwoo giggles when Mingyu touching the shape of his lips, trailing a ticklish trace over his skin. “Stop, it tickles!”

“Don’t stop. Sing again.”

And then he does. “ _I can see it in your eyes… I can see it in your smile... You're all I've ever wanted and my arms are open wide…_ ” Wonwoo giggles again, louder this time. “I told you it tickles!”

Mingyu buries Wonwoo deeper into his embrace, chest feeling extremely tight with adoration towards the other man. He feels weird, but very much like how Wonwoo affecting him in a way he could never think he could. If this ended up him getting hurt, he wouldn’t mind.

Mingyu sings the next part then, with Wonwoo still clutching tight into his body. “ _Cause you know just what to say… And you know just what to do… And I want to tell you so much… I love you._ ” It’s hard, really. Especially saying the last part and thinking it was just some lyrics for him to sing. Since when he became so conflicted?

“Next question?” Wonwoo asks, eyes looking right into Mingyu’s. When the tall man nodding his head, Wonwoo grabs his phone and read the question immediately. “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”

Furrowing his forehead, Mingyu sighs. “That’s a hard question.”

“C’mon, it's not. I’m curious about what are you gonna say to me, anyway.”

That’s not a hard question, actually. But to blurts his complicated thought on what he likes about Wonwoo is gonna need a lot of times. In fact, it’s gonna take forever. Mingyu himself doesn’t know if he is able to stop. 

“Okay. Um… It’s been… a couple of days since we met? I mean, _again_. I honestly thought this would be another dull holiday, you know? Me and my bed, just like always. But ever since this whole encounter with you _i—_ I don’t know. My life has been some kind of rollercoaster ride. Please don’t put it the wrong way because I meant it in a good way. It’s like going to my favourite restaurant just to order the same menu over and over again every single time, but now I got to try different things.” Mingyu breaths. “I like seeing you so casual being around my family like you’re a part of it. In fact, I think my mom doesn’t even care about me being there, he likes you that much.”

Mingyu stops talking when he hears Wonwoo chuckles. The man’s chest vibrating, and then Mingyu laughs along with him.

“I know this is embarrassing and a man at my age shouldn’t make a big deal out of it but I like the way you makes me feel, Wonwoo. You and your dangerous mind. I could never decipher the way you think. You’re so different, reckless, full of risk, but you’re also independent. Yet, I kept drawing into you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I lead you into something. It’s kind of exaggerating but, yeah. That’s one way to look at it.” Mingyu adds.

You know those scene in the movie when both of the characters just standing, camera dramatically talking a pleasingly beautiful shoot of their faces looking at one another, digging into each other’s soul and then they think _this is it._ And the next moment they’re kissing. It’s just like an automatic cue. The turning point.

Mingyu didn’t know what the hell happened but he’s pretty much kissing Wonwoo right now. It was the lanky man who initiates the kiss first because Mingyu would never. He’s a coward. He wanted to pull himself out. _He really did_. But with Wonwoo plump lips tenderly crushes his, there’s no other way around. He lets it in. He lets Wonwoo in. Into his mind, his life, and practically his wholebeing.

Mingyu hesitates before pulling Wonwoo into his laps but when he finally did, he breaths in relieve. Because right now seeing Wonwoo in front of him, all glowing with the level of beauty he could never coherent, Mingyu is seeing heaven.

Their eyes meet and then they’re staying like that for a moment. Wonwoo had doubts in his eyes and Mingyu reading the expression with the feeling of his heart being crushed. He’s kind of wish he false reading into things, that Wonwoo it’s just waiting for the right moment before he’s coming back to him. All for him.

Wonwoo exhales deeply before capturing Mingyu’s lips, both hands crossing to the back of the tall man’s head and pulling him even closer. Wonwoo’s tongue goes everywhere around Mingyu’s mouth, sucking deeper. There’s no room to breathe. No room to look. Mingyu flips them after a while and now Wonwoo is laying on the bed and Mingyu’s mind going absolutely crazy. He starts to stroke Wonwoo’s collarbone before kissing it gently. His other hand slowly opening the man’s t-shirt and now Mingyu is seeing him open wide. Wonwoo hisses in pleasure when Mingyu’s mouth wandering into his nipples and let out a loud moan. Mingyu’s tongue works even harder just so he can hear that beautiful sound coming from the man’s mouth over and over again. His thigh bumped into something hard and that’s when Wonwoo screaming, grabbing his hair and pulling Mingyu closer. Wonwoo adjusts his hips, making so much effort just so he can feel Mingyu. Anything from Mingyu.

Then Mingyu suddenly pulling himself from the other man. The feeling of his lips separating from Mingyu makes Wonwoo feel empty. He’s angry and he hates it. So he moans in annoyance, trying to get up and desperately reach for the lips again. But Mingyu doesn’t give that easily. He restrains both of Wonwoo’s hand beside his head until the other man can’t move.

“Mingyu… please.”

“Wonwoo, wait.”

“What’s wrong?” 

Instead of answering Mingyu pressing his nose into Wonwoo’s hair, smelling the familiar vanilla scent everytime he went too close to the man’s head which is quite often since he’s taller than him in any way.

“We should stop.”

“Why?”

“Wonwoo… you’re—you’re not mine. It’s a totally different thing if you’re single or anything but you’re not. We should think about Minghao’s feeling. I will be sad if I were him. He loves you, okay? This is wrong. Let’s stop.”

Mingyu rolls himself away from Wonwoo so now they’re laying again side by side. Wonwoo still hasn’t said anything, not even glancing towards the tall man. He’s staring straight up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

“You’re right. We shouldn’t.”

Mingyu filches hearing the voice in the middle of quietness, not only because of the sudden but also how Wonwoo saying it like he totally regrets what just happened. It makes Mingyu desperately wants to crawl away and cry. But he didn’t. He’s laying there, strengthen his heart to whatever comes up next. He can’t be selfish. This is not about him, it’s involving both of them. He can’t ever be selfish.

But sometimes he wanted to. He really wants Wonwoo all for himself. There’s this tiny little hole on his brain that thinking about all the possibilities, about what he’s gonna do when someday Wonwoo become his. The amount of love he’s gonna give, the delicate kisses he will shower on the other man, everything. But right now, it’s just not possible. Not in any way.

“Mingyu?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not leading me on. I’m the one who did that. You’re… you’re sweet, Mingyu. You would never do that.”

“Wonwoo—”

“Can we sleep? I’m tired.”

Mingyu inhales deeply before nodding. “Okay.”

“Do you mind if I ask you to cuddle me? I hate sleeping alone when someone is beside me. If only it’s not too much to ask.”

Mingyu is tired. Both of them tired. There’s just so much emotion in one night and his brain is about to explode. Mingyu sure it’s also hard for Wonwoo. The man probably feeling guilty thinking about what he just did, thinking about Minghao… And Mingyu is so sick with everything.

“Okay.”

“Thank you, Gyu.” Wonwoo says when Mingyu pulls him into his embrace, rubbing his hair softly.

“No worries, Wonwoo.”

 

 

Mingyu wakes up with the sunlight burning through his eyes, and someone’s voice clearing his throat. When he opened his eyes the first thing that he sees is Wonwoo’s head. And then the windows, and when he turned his head behind, he sees Jeonghan standing there folding his hand with two other doctors bowing their heads into the floor, looking slightly embarrassed when he’s the one who should feel otherwise. 

“ _Good morning love bir—_ ”

“ _Shush!_ ” Mingyu whispers, signalling Jeonghan to shut up. “You’re gonna wake him up.” 

“Really, Kim Mingyu? Is that important right now?” says Jeonghan, sounding so done.

“What do you want, hyung?”

“Asking you to get ready, of course! Your plane will leave tonight.”

Mingyu immediately turning his head into Wonwoo, scared the man will hear it. But Wonwoo seemingly still in the deep sleep and Mingyu breaths in relieve. 

“Give me a few hours, okay? I will get ready.”

“Three hours, Kim. No more than that. I’ll wait outside.” Jeonghan always looks fierce when doing his job and Mingyu respects the man for that.

“Okay.”

“Oh, I forgot. The doctors are here to check up on you for the last time and remove your—” Jeonghan eyes wandering to Mingyu’s left hand, where the infusion supposedly was. He clicks on his tongue and rolls his eyes, _irritated_. “Nevermind.”

Mingyu looking up to the two doctors who still looks embarrassed and then smiling at them. “Hi,”

“Good morning, Racer Kim.” Says them in sync. It’s actually pretty funny because both of them looks nervous talking to him.

“Please, it’s Mingyu.” He adds. “Do you mind if I wake him first before you start to examine me?”

“Oh, no, not at all!” One of them, the brunet one, taking a few steps back while vigorously waving his hand. And his friends beside him just smile nervously.

“Okay.” Mingyu laughs. “You can wait on the sofa.”

After the two doctors sit awkwardly and Jeonghan gets out of the room, Mingyu turns all his attention back to the small man, rubbing on his cheek with his thumb. “Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo shifts on the bed but not necessarily open his eyes immediately. He’s making this expression when the little kitten is in the deep sleep and then abruptly open their eyes. So cute. So delicate. “Ngghh… Sleepy.”

Mingyu chuckles before kissing Wonwoo’s forehead deeply. “I know. But I gotta go.”

“Where?”

“Argentina? My flight is tonight.”

And just like that, Wonwoo is wide awake, getting dizzy as soon as he sits upright and feeling utterly mad. He feels betrayed eventhough he _knew_ this would happen somehow and that somehow is today. _Tonight_.

Wonwoo moves his sight from Mingyu to the two other men whose looking at them patiently on the sofa. “ _Oh._ Hi Kwan. You too, Seokmin. Good morning.”

“Hi hyu— _I mean_ Doctor Jeon.” Says Seokmin, still looking utterly nervous.

Wonwoo brings his knuckles up to his eyes, rubbing it slowly. “You’re here to check him up?” Seungkwan nods. “Okay, go ahead.”

Wonwoo gets out of the bed, quickly entering the bathroom and coming out after done changing back into his own clothes. When he grabbed his bag and heading towards the door, Mingyu holding back his waist. “ _Wait, wait, wait._ Where are you going?”

“To work?” answers Wonwoo lazily like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeah but I just told you I’m going tonight.”

“Then go.”

_Then go._

The words it’s like a needle stabbing his body in so many places, especially his heart. 

“Wonwoo, what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong. You’ll be going, that’s fine. Text me when you’re there? I don’t know if I have time to watch your race on the TV but good luck.”

“You’re not going to take me to the airport?”

Wonwoo letting Mingyu’s hand from his wrist and smiles a little. “Can’t. I’m sorry, Gyu. I promised Minghao to eat dinner together, tonight. He craves some Chinese.”

Mingyu is taking a few steps back, a bitter laugh coming from his mouth and he looks done. _So fucking done_. He doesn’t know what to do with this man in front of him. He doesn’t own him, perhaps never will. He had no right to feel angry. Not at all. But he can’t help it. For once on his life, Mingyu wants to be mad. “Do you know that you sound so egoist right now?”

“ _Me?_ ” Wonwoo snorts. “I’m egoist? How come?”

“You made me feel like a bad guy for a whole night thinking I’m ruining your relationship and then you kissed me! You kissed me and I can’t help it. And then you said it’s all your fault but I do feel like it's my fault so that makes the two of us. I guess it’s a mutual feeling. I guess we’re all in this together. But here you are leaving me like I’m just some rebound everytime you feel lonely. That makes me sick, okay! I’m sick of holding myself and feeling like it's all my fault!”

“You’re so much far from a rebound, Kim Mingyu! You’re not!” Wonwoo screams, fiercely pointing Mingyu with his finger and he sounds angry. For real. For the first time ever. “You’re not, okay? Why do you think so lowly of yourself? _Am I that much a bitch in your eyes?"_  the man blurting the sentences with so much pain and Mingyu’s chest tingles. He hates himself. He hates everything.

So he pulls Wonwoo then, bringing the man to his embrace tightly. He hugs him, buries the man into the crock of his neck and kisses his head repeatedly. “ _I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._ I’m sorry I snapped at you, I’m sorry I called you egoist. You’re not a bitch, Wonwoo. I would never think of you that way. Not in any possibly evil way. It’s all my fault. I don’t deserve you.”

Wonwoo decides to keep his mouth shut. He’s not crying either and Mingyu just realized how strong Wonwoo is. He isn't just someone weak, he stands for himself alright.

“You’re forgiven.”

Mingyu breaths in relief, swinging their body to the left and right. “Thank God.”

“But you need to come back, Gyu. I’m waiting.”

“I—” Mingyu hesitates. _Do they still want to do this when he comes back? Hurting each other? Marking each other’s territory secretly on Minghao’s back?_ “Okay. Do you want me to grant your last wish before I go?”

“No.” Wonwoo leans his face into Mingyu’s palm, closing his eyes, feeling the warmth. “Later, when you come back.”

“I’ll be back, then.”

“Good.”

 

Seokmin is standing there dumbfounded, mouth gaping and forehead furrowed. He leans closer to Seungkwan, trying to whisper on the man’s ear. “ _Kwan, what the fuck just happened?_ ”

 

 


	4. Alcohol In Your System

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i already said it on twitter, i hate this chapter it hurts like bitch. idek what the hell i wrote it doesn't even make any sense. rip grammars.

“How's life treating you?"

 "Everything's like this coffee."

"Overpriced?"

"No, bitter." 

 

_1 week._

It took Wonwoo one week to sterilized his mind. To make up his life, to go back to the way it used to be, to fall in love with Minghao like he once was. Reality knocked the hell out of him into two years ago, when the sky was in the colour of dusted pink, the sun was almost swallowed by the earth, the air smells like a summer breeze. That day, that time, they sat across from each other inside the Ferris wheel, feeling like touching the sky.

It all started from a well-spent holiday at the amusement park, his friend being tired after drained their energy to played the whole day and later on wanted to eat something before they went home. But Wonwoo was still eager. He wanted to see the sky more up-close so he can feel peace. He decided to went alone then, and Minghao was right behind on the line. A complete stranger, seeing each other for the first time. And then here comes Wonwoo and his own solitude mind, turned his back and waved at the man. A cheerful smile, a friendly invitation.

“Are you alone?”

Minghao was wearing a brown overall and a bucket hat that day and the details are still fresh in Wonwoo’s memory. Clothes full with doodles drew by someone who surely was good at the field. There’s a camera gripped on his hand, a small blue polaroid. Quirked his eyebrow while looking at Wonwoo up then down, Minghao finally answered. “Yeah?”

“Cool! Me too. Wanna go up there with me?”

The thing with himself is, quoted by what his friend was always said was annoyingly chill. He’s being scolded, lectured, asked to be more responsible. To take everything seriously, to be more careful. But he shrugged them away. He wanted to be reckless, he ought to try everything. He doesn’t like to overthink.

That leads him to size up an assumption that no one would be able to handle his chaotic mind. To match his pace, to rival his necessary evil thought. He needs something, someone, who doesn’t question his craziness. Who doesn’t judge. Who willingly goes with the flow with him.

And that someone came in the form of Minghao.

“Sure. I need an object for my picture anyway. Do you mind?”

Wonwoo smiled, a sign that he let Minghao enter his life completely that day, two years ago.

Coming to see it in any different perspective, it still doesn’t make sense how someone like him, _Jeon Wonwoo_ , was able to be in a relationship that lasted longer than his past relationship combined. Such a crazy ride, to be exact. But maybe it was because of the casualties. Wonwoo hates being in the middle of a distressing relationship and he doesn’t feel that ever with Minghao. It was as perfect as it could be.

Wonwoo tried then, to find something wrong either on his side or both of them just to confirm the uncertainty. But really, nothing exactly going in the wrong directions. It’s a dead end and Wonwoo is stuck. Although he isn’t figured out yet whether it’s a good or a bad thing.

“He’s your neighbour?” Minghao pointing at the television that shows a man riding his motorbike, face covered with a black helmet and any other equipment with the same said colour. He seems to be the centre of attention as the commentator never stopped including the man’s name ever since the race has started. _Kim Mingyu this, Kim Mingyu that._ The name is now planted even in Minghao’s mind.

Wonwoo is there, head leaning on Minghao’s lap comfortably. His right hand wandering over Minghao’s everything; rubbing on his ear, cheeks, nose. It’s a reassurance touch, something Wonwoo wasn’t even realized he did. Minghao too, put his palm on the other man’s head. Stroking his fluffy hair, and sometimes leaning down to kiss the open forehead. A one fine Sunday. An official cuddle day. “It’s actually kinda weird seeing him on TV, though.”

“So the other day, you were with him?”

“ _Mhm,_ ” Wonwoo grabbing some grapes from the plate and feed himself. “He doesn’t look that cool in real life. I mean, he’s sweet. He made me watched Meg Ryan’s entire filmography and it was apparently a rom-com marathon.”

Minghao is laughing, then once again trying to get a glimpse of the said racer but nothing much to be seen since the camera always catches only a few seconds of his appearance. “Too bad I haven’t met him yet. When will he’d be back?”

At the question, Wonwoo is triggered. He’s very much sure there’s a tingle of emptiness hitting at the bottom of his heart like everytime he remembered something sad. “I’m not sure.”

And then it was that, a minute they’re talking about Kim Mingyu, the man who has been holding Wonwoo softly, kissed him tenderly, made him feel like he’s floating on the cloud even with his awkward self, and the next minutes Wonwoo changes the channel. Make Mingyu disappear like he never existed in the first place. Just like that.

Minghao eats dinner with Wonwoo’s family that night. He brought this one special 28 years old wine and his father was extremely happy when he received it. _Christmas come early,_ he said. They clicked, his father and his boyfriend. It’s always satisfied Wonwoo to see how casual they interacted and he’s assumed it’s a gift from God. He feels like he was lucky enough to find the right pieces in everything to complete his puzzle. A wealthy family, a fine job, a perfect boyfriend. What could possibly be wrong?

It was today when Wonwoo suddenly came into one realization. He was sitting in the balcony, a cigarette between his finger and a lighter on the other hand. It’s been a long time since the last time he smoked. To be exact, he stopped ever since Minghao came into his life. Sometimes Wonwoo thinks they should switches job. Minghao’s entire life is all about healthiness; he doesn’t smoke, eats junk food, drink cold water, nor ever forget to take his supplement. He’s a scheduled human, a health freak. Wonwoo on the other hand, wasn’t very much. He’s always on the verge of life and death and needs to be guided. For such a long time, Wonwoo thought they completed each other but that’s before he realized how nice it was to dance in the rain, to scream on top of his lungs while the wind slapped on his face, and to be in someone else’s arm.

He’s missing the thrill, the adrenalin rush, the _excitement_.

“Minghao?”

“Yeah?”

“If right now suddenly happen to be rain, will you go out?”

“What do you mean ‘go out’?”

“Dancing with me out there.”

Minghao then calmly walking toward him, get him up from the chair and sit there instead. Then he put Wonwoo on his lap, hugging his waist closely. “In the rain?”

“Yeah.”

Minghao snuggles more, placing his chin on the top of Wonwoo’s shoulder. “No.”

“Why?”

“What’s the point? I don’t want you to get sick.”

Trying to not sound disappointed, Wonwoo gives Minghao’s lips a quick peck. “Can you for once just forget about that?”

“About what?”

“Says exactly what an adult would say.”

Minghao chuckles, gripping both of Wonwoo’s upper arm to make the guy entirely facing him. “Are you saying you want me to get reckless?”

“Something like that.” Says Wonwoo while shrugging his shoulder.

“Okay.”

“ _Okay…?_ ”

Looking at Wonwoo right in the eyes like he’s the only thing that matters, Minghao once again gives him reasons to feel loved. “Let’s do whatever you want to do. You’re important to me, okay? I’m not just doing some or another relationship with you, Won. So instead of arguing let’s just do it.”

And just like that, Minghao putting another wall and calmed the situation down. No argument, no shouting at each other’s faces, no tears being wasted. He's always the one who gives, and Wonwoo will take it gladly. Sometimes he’s wondering what can he do to make this man in front of him mad? He wanted to do something dangerous just to feel the thrill, the anger, the jealousy. He wanted to experience it all.

He needs Mingyu. Wonwoo needs to see the man so badly it feels suffocate and he can’t breathe.

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

“I’m sorry love, not tonight.” Minghao rubbing on Wonwoo’s nose, feeling guilty.

“I hate sleeping alone.”

“I know.”

“ _Hao._ ”

The said man shaking his head in disbelief. “Alright, alright. Let’s get you inside.”

Minghao then takes Wonwoo to the bed in the exact position as right now. Pinned to his body.

 

“See, if you look at it from here, my turn has become more and more smooth. There, _there!_ ” Seungcheol eagerly showing his phone right in front of Mingyu’s face. It was getting pretty abusive of him, to be honest.

“Yes, I’ve seen it. I’m sitting right here, okay? Literally beside you. We’re looking at the same thing. Please, hyung, tell your boyfriend to stop abusing me.”

Seungcheol is burning through passion whenever he watches himself racing. His pride is as high as the floating lantern no one can tops him. Just like the copy self of Mingyu’s father, Seungcheol fights too much with his idealistic principle of perfection. His life seemingly in the order of which every desperate people would willing to exchange. He’s tough and passionate like that.

“Babe, leave the child alone. I was tired enough dealing with him and his cranky ass for the past few weeks. No need to make it worse.”

Seungcheol shifts on his seat, leaning closer to Jeonghan so he can embrace the blonde man’s shoulder. “What’s up with him?”

“Love affair.”

“Wow? Seriously? _This kid right here?_ ”

“Guys,” waving his hands in front of the couple, Mingyu then pulling Jeonghan away from Seungcheol. “ _Leave it._ And what did I tell you about keeping a low profile in public? I don’t want people to know you guys dating or whatever kind of relationship going on here.”

“We’re not the problem here, my dude. _You are._ Stop changing the subject.”

Sipping on his Vodka while observing the situation very clearly, Jeonghan smirks. “So what do you want to do now?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. One minute I feel like a bad guy everytime I’m with him and another time it seems like the only right thing to do. I don’t feel like myself and I clearly hated this situation. I’m dying, it’s killing me. My thoughts are killing me and I’d rather die. So should I die or not?”

The couple is fixated, both looking at Mingyu with pity in their eyes. Then Seuncheol speaks up. “Why is it necessary for you to feel bad? Don’t lie ‘cause doubted it’s something related to you. You don’t even kill mosquitoes.”

“ _Why is everyone thinks I’m a saint?!_ ”

“See, Gyu, my man, it’s not even scary when you shouted at me just now.” Seungcheol has a comedy expression on his face, like he was trying hard to hold back his laugh and it’s hurt Mingyu’s pride.

Mingyu pretends he didn’t hear Seungcheol’s insult. “He’s weird hyung, I swear. We were just laying side by side on the bed not doing anything but I feel exhausted. He’s making me losing my damn mind while his boyfriend is out there probably thinking about him and loving him wholeheartedly.”

The other man isn’t necessarily surprised but his pupils are slightly shaking. “ _Phew_. A sinful affair it is.”

 _Well yeah sure like he doesn’t know about it already._ Mingyu’s face is tight, irritated. “I can be bad, okay?” _No, he can’t._ “But i-it’s not that easy. I—I don’t want to make him sad or feel burdened. I’m sure he got so much on his plate already. I don’t even know what he wants! He’s not being very subtle with me in terms of this. So, what? He wanted us to keep messing around with each other?”

“Let me ask you something, what do you want then?”

Mingyu looking up at Jeonghan’s sudden interfere. “What?”

“I know you, Kim. You probably spent the majority of your time thinking about what he wants. Have you ever thought first? About what you want? And are you sure you’re entirely _moved on?_ ”

In that moment when Jeonghan’s words sipping slowly into his mind, giving Mingyu the absolute trigger he possibly could get, Mingyu found himself sinking. His eyes meet Jeonghan’s for a quick glance before looking down, then set himself up from the chair.

“I’m going to my room.” He bows to his hyungs, eyes clearly avoiding them.

“Wait, Mingyu!” turning his head quickly towards Seungcheol to let him know he’s going to go after the poor boy, Jeonghan runs then.

The hotel corridor now blasting with their footsteps. Jeonghan is right behind Mingyu, patiently waiting until they’re inside before interrogating the racer more. He knows the code, the ethics. Jeonghan doesn’t want them screaming at each other’s gut getting into tomorrow’s headline.

Mingyu tap his card and as soon as the door opened and both of them are inside, Mingyu then turning his back. “What, hyung?”

“You’re not okay.”

“Fine, I’m not. But then what? I told you just leave it.”

“Why you don’t answer my question?”

“Which question?”

Mingyu _knew_ which one, he just doesn’t want to make it obvious.

“Don’t you think it’s wrong to projecting your rebound towards him? Or for him to act like that around you for what the so-called bonding when in the end he just wanted to mess around _using you?_ I know, Gyu. And don’t try to cut me when I’m talking.” Jeonghan snapping his index finger towards the other man and Mingyu closes his mouth in reflect. “Isn’t that childish for him to bitching around like that when he’s not even a kid anymore and he should be giving his head the right damn sense? And honestly, do you want to be with someone that looks like a complete whore?”

“HYUNG!” This supposed to be the moment where Mingyu should be screaming and be mad all he wants at the older, but he just can’t. He clearly can’t. Mingyu, as selfless as he ever could be, won’t do that anyway. It’s inevitable. In the end, it’s him who calmed down first. It’s him who’s making up his mind, trying to be cold-headed. “ _Hyung_ , please do not say something like that about Wonwoo ever, ever again. He might be wild with all his odd peculiar behaviour but he wasn’t—wasn’t a whore. That’s a shabby way to describe someone and Wonwoo isn’t. He’s smart. He gave you this soothed feeling about freedom. You just don’t know him that deep. Please, yeah? Hyung?”

“What are you trying to find in him, really? Wait until he lets everything go and then it’s suddenly happily ever after for both of you?”

“Jeonghan hyung,” His voice changing tone until it has become desperate. “I love you, okay? You know I do. I’ve loved you for so _long_. But you said it yourself that you don’t see me that way and I will always only be your brother and I’m trying to be fine with that. Now that I finally found someone that makes me genuinely happy you’re telling me that I can’t? _Aren’t you so full of yourself?_ ”

The words surely hold Jeonghan in place. The man reluctantly swallows the remarks because deep down Mingyu was right. It was so selfish of him giving the assumption on his head to hate Wonwoo in reasons he even made himself; to make him only believe about the man’s bad sides. But still, Jeonghan can’t help it. The idea of losing Mingyu, having Mingyu away from his grip when the kid was always been there ever since forever is sickening. It scares him.

“You can’t just assume you like him after you met him a few times and slept with him, Gyu. That’s not how it works. You said you love me.”

The situation appeared to be so funny right now. He hasn’t been aware of the topic but now he did. He did and it suddenly terrifying him. _God_ , so much headache. Wonwoo’s voice asking him a question a few weeks ago triggers his mind in an instant click.

_Do you ever feel like that, then? False naming love into reassurance?_

He had been thought. He’s been thinking about the right answer for the question and now Mingyu thought he did and he’s sure of that. Five years to be completely head over heels towards the blonde man must’ve had it’s turning point somehow.

“What I feel towards Wonwoo isn’t your business, hyung. I’m sorry but you don’t have the obligation to know everything about me. Especially my feelings.”

He wanted to ask why does he get from this. Being the third party between Jeonghan and Seungcheol and acted to be fine with it for years, and now he’s got to through it once again with Wonwoo. He doesn’t think he can’t.

 

 

miss me?

Received 00.21

why dont u guess

Sent 00.39

u miss me :)

Received 00.42

lucky guess :)

Sent 00.43

heheh :(

Received 00.44

what’s with the sad face?

Sent 00.46

nothing…

have you eaten your lunch?

Received 00.48

it’s midnight in here

Sent 00.49

oh crap it is?

u should sleep then

u must be tired

Received 00.50

no let’s talk more

i want to talk to u

im not that sleepy anyway

Sent 01.15

 

won?

Sent 01.45

 

 

  
hey sorry i was trying to bake with minghao

it was a disaster fyi

what do you want to talk about?

Received 03.35

 

  
His father was flying all the way to Italy because Mingyu was losing a few points from his latest race. He gave him lecture for hours and then Mingyu had to practice for a whole day supervised by him. The news headline changed from him being one of the potential winners this year into his failure in a span of hours. Everyone was giving him too much pressure and it honestly stressing him out. It’s maddening. It’s not healthy.

The only thing that keeping him sane is to listen to Wonwoo’s rambling about his day through the phone. His favourite part of the day, his own personal healing. The man was surely a nerd talker because Mingyu can sit still for hours laughing at Wonwoo’s funny story without even aware nor feel tired. While he sits there thousands of kilometres away from the man, the hinted of Wonwoo scrunching his nose, throwing his head back while laughing, pursing his lips everytime he feels shy, and pulling his sweeter paws causing his tiny slender fingers to be nowhere to be seen are pictured pretty clearly on his head. It’s like the said man was just sit in front of him, gnaws his lips while looking at Mingyu.

“I swear I’m about to combust. The kid is clearly okay! But he kept telling me his stomach was hurt but I don’t seem to diagnosed anything. Then his mom excused herself to the bathroom and then the kid started to shouted his eyes at me saying _‘Doc, can you just lie to my mom? I failed my Math exam today and she’ll kill me unless I get sick and almost die. Just say this is emergency and my death is near.’_ And I was literally standing there dumbfoundedly, having a thought for about twenty minutes assumed myself wasn’t capable of doing simple check-ups.”

Mingyu covers his mouth with his fingers to prevent himself from laughing too loud. “I thought it was something you can see only in drama?”

“That’s what I’m saying! What’s wrong with kids nowadays?”

“I think he deserves a daesang for his acting.”

“Shut up. I was miserable, Gyu. Pay attention to me. Don’t mind the kid.”

“Alright, alright.” The tall man can’t help but giggles. “My attention is all yours.”

 _It is._ And Mingyu wasn’t just beating around the bush when he said that. He’s _enchanted_.

“I saw you on tv yesterday.”

“My race?”

“Yeah, I don't clearly understand what happened but I heard Mr. K was there now with you. Is everything okay?”

“It’s… I had a fight with Jeonghan hyung the other day. Not really that serious but I think it’s affecting both of us.” Burdening Wonwoo with his problem was the last thing he wanted to do. He doesn’t want this conversation to be about him. _Fuck him and his damned life._ He only cares about Wonwoo’s life. Wonwoo’s story. _Wonwoo_. “It’s okay, you don’t need to worry.”

“What if I wanted to?”

“Then don’t.”

“Mingyu… _i—_ "

Wonwoo doesn’t continue what he was about to say, but Mingyu hears he’s talking to someone on the line. The voice sounds like a murmur but Mingyu still can hear it somehow.

_I was just talking to Mingyu._

_Yeah, that Mingyu._

_Oh no, everything’s okay. We were just catching up._

_Sound’s great. Thank you, baby._

It was one of that moment when you suddenly happy when remembering something good happened in your life. The moment that put a smile on your face, but as soon as you realized it’s just some glimpse of flashback and reality pulling you back on earth, that shit hurts like crazy. It’s hard to get up, to pick up the pieces. To go back to being a saint.

In the end, the thing that he thought he had was just some illusion. And no matter how he was feeling the happiest when he’s with Wonwoo, it doesn’t schedule to be eternity. It has a limit.

 

Something unexpected happened today.

Wonwoo is in the doctor’s room with his other friends, resting himself after a 6 hours operation non-stop. Jihoon was kind enough to welcome him as soon as he gets out of the room and hand him the Subway sandwich. Seungkwan and Seokmin are also there with them, chewing on their sandwiches while arguing like they always did on a daily basis. Jihoon scolds them from being too loud and disturbs the TV sound. But it was Seokmin who finally chokes on his lungs and shooting a glare towards the said television, then Jihoon stops nagging at them. The three of Wonwoo’s coworker moves their gaze to him who’s been eating cluelessly.

He’s immune to this, by the way. Ever since a month ago when the entire department suddenly aware of what’s going on inside Mingyu’s room that day, and it must've been because of two particular people gossiping him around. Wonwoo didn’t get mad. For what, exactly? It’s not a big deal for him. But Wonwoo hates when his co-workers indicated Mingyu as the bad guy. _He’s clearly seducing Jeon. Don’t you read the news? I heard the guy was a total fuckboi._

Fuck people. Why they really like to jump into their own assumption for something that clearly wasn’t their business?

“He looks better on person.” Says Seungkwan when the news show footage of Mingyu being interviewed. His black helmet is now on his hand, and the man’s fixing his hair by running his finger through his head.

“Yeah, that I agree.” Add Seokmin.

“I haven’t seen him,” Jihoon interjects. “Maybe someday.”

Jihoon’s wish then some sort of happened, but just not in the most pleasingly way.

Some first year’s resident who’s Wonwoo often forget his name running into the room panickily. He stops in front of Wonwoo out of breath, looking like his lungs has betrayed him.

“Doctor Jeon, aren’t you Kim Mingyu’s boyfriend?”

Wonwoo raising his one eyebrow, clueless. “What’s this about?”

“H-He’s in the emergency room. Appendicitis, must be operated. But his mom kept asking about you? She said she just wanted his son to be operated by you.”

Wonwoo walks then, slowly. He wanted to be as calm as possible. The realization still hasn’t sunk in yet because how in the hell Mingyu is here? Since when? Why he was sick? Is it bad? Will he gonna be okay? And no, Wonwoo didn’t think he has the heart to operate Mingyu himself when it’s not even a big operation. He did it dozens of times already.

When Wonwoo entering the room, the first person he sees is Mrs. K. He hugs Wonwoo, looking as beautiful as always but this time he can see the worry in her eyes. Wonwoo then smiling at her, refused to be the weak one. “It’s gonna be okay, Mrs. K. It’s not a big operation or something. A lot of people going through this.”

“I believe you, dear. I know you can take care of him.”

And it was those words that make Wonwoo seemingly didn’t have any other choice. Someone believes in him.

He steps ahead, approaching the bed where Mingyu is lying down. The man’s already looking at him ever since he entered the room and Wonwoo knew because he can feel it. He can feel Mingyu’s gaze blasting through his souls. Getting closer to the said man and finally be able to see him up-close after a month, it was like standing at the end of the cliff. You must jump to know how it feels so that curiosity won’t kill you.

“Hi.” The tall man is grinning from ear to ear when Wonwoo standing beside his bed. He just stands there, ‘cause that’s the best he can do to prevent himself from doing something stupid. The thing is, Wonwoo misses him. He misses the tan-sunkissed man and he’s bewildered. So he ended up clenching his fists, stand still.

“If you keep coming back here everytime you injured yourself, I’d rather don’t see you forever.” The words would come up harsh if only Wonwoo didn’t say it with his shaky voice.

“And losing the opportunity to see you? Not a chance.”

“ _God_ , How to be on your level of insufferable?” Wonwoo chuckles. What he didn’t realize are the tears that also streaming down on his face. “Why are you smiling? Isn’t that hurt?”

“Yeah. Jesus Christ it hurts. But I refuse to look pathetic in front of you so can you please quick proceed and do something?”

“Okay,” wipe the tears slightly, the lanky man starts to smile. Wonwoo starts to prepare himself. “Hang on a little bit, okay? The operation won’t be that long. You’ll be alright.”

Wonwoo is busy that day, mostly being Mingyu’s personal doctor. The tall man complained a lot when Wonwo’s team telling him that he had to fast first before the operation.

“Wonwoo, I’m hungry. I’m going to die from hunger, not this damn disease.”

“It’s only 8 hours, you’re not going to die. And please stop whining. Is it my fault you’re sick? It’s not. Blame your own reckless self. I don’t wanna be any part of it.”

Mingyu also creating riots between Wonwoo’s co-worker (or maybe the entire hospital), especially Mrs. K. The old woman would bring foods and give it freely to any staff within a few centimetres away from her sight. It was a lot of food and everyone would think she’s going to feed entire South Korea’s population. The funny thing, it’s not even a day since Mingyu was there.

When pushing Mingyu to enter the operation room that day, the tall man looking at him right in the eyes and Wonwoo instantly melts.

“It’s not going to hurt, right?”

“No.”

“What if I couldn’t get myself up? What if I’ll sleep forever, Wonwoo?”

“You won’t. You’re in the right hand, you’re with me.”

It took a minute before finally the anaesthesia slowly entering Mingyu’s body. The man closes his eyes, glancing at Wonwoo at the same time and whispering for one last time. “Okay.”

And then he fades.

 

A month later, it’s Wonwoo’s parents 31th wedding anniversary. They invited mostly the families and also a couple of neighbours. The Kim’s family of course, is on their first list. His mom even practically be the unofficial event organizer. It’s kind of one heartwarming garden party filled with laugh and love. Wonwoo too, looking at his parents in amaze. They were standing side by side, his mom put her hand around his dad’s waist and his dad keeping his wife on his embrace from time to time, not even once forgetting to kiss the tip of her head. How can two people still look deliriously in love even after years and years? Sometimes he wonders if he can be like that too someday in the future.

Of course, the event leads to something more peculiar than it should be because first; it will be the first time ever, Mingyu goes inside his house. Second; it’s also will be the first time for both Minghao and Mingyu to finally meet. Imagine the headache? Yes.

And now Mingyu is in his room, looking slightly too big somehow surrounding by the things inside Wonwoo’s room. The man seemingly confuses, nervous and Wonwoo can’t help but pursing his lips at the sight.

“This looks different from inside my room.”

Wonwoo raising his eyebrow suspiciously, yet still humoured by Mingyu’s sudden confession. “I didn’t know you were that kind of pervert?”

“What? No! _I—_ I mean it’s kind of there? Not that I’m trying to peak from time to time but it’s just—how do I say this? _Visible_.”

Wonwoo walks towards his bed, chuckling along the way then sit on the edge. He pats the gap beside him and initiates Mingyu to sit also. Mingyu at first, hesitating. His eyes kind of wandering at the door, taking a glimpse outside before finally sitting beside Wonwoo.

“What’s with the paper bird?”

“Hm? You mean those origami birds?”

“Yeah.”

Wonwoo looking up to the colourful bird-shaped paper hanging around the wall, smiling at them softly. “Hobby.”

“ _Folding paper is your hobby?_ ”

Wonwoo chuckles, head throwing back. “Odd?”

“I thought you hated something sentimental? Seeing from how you actively dissed Meg Ryan the other day.”

“It has a purpose, okay?” Wonwoo again pursing his lips then cover his face, feeling embarrassed. It such a pleasingly sight ‘cause the man rarely act embarrassed in front of him. “Remember in middle school when I was called by the principal and went to his office?”

It’s vague, but Mingyu nods anyway. “What about it?”

“They called me to inform my dad was in the hospital. Apparently he had a stroke. He can’t talk normally for months so me and my mom was kinda having a rough year. One time I was looking after my dad and sat beside him while playing on my Nintendo. I was getting bored so I looked up at the TV. No one really watched since my dad was also dozing off beside me, but I remembered they airing some news about _Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes_. She was diagnosed with Leukaemia by the age of 12 after exposed to radiation when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. She was then tried to fold 1000 origami cranes, as it was traditionally believed would grant one wish. _Anything_ , and it’ll happen. It was some kind of her symbol of hope and healing and so did for me.” Wonwoo breaths, smiling a little. “I did it then. I would sit inside my room, beside my dad, anywhere and whenever I had the time to folded the paper. It was dozens, hundreds, soon thousands. Do you know what happened then?”

Mingyu isn't budging on his seat, but he shakes his head politely. “What?”

“My dad was getting better. I know it doesn’t make sense to entirely thought it was because of the paper, but at least I had hope for a while. I only care about my dad’s recovery and folding the paper somehow made me feel I was doing something for him. I know, _really_ , it’s doesn’t make sense. Nonetheless, later I didn’t have the heart to throw them away so my mom helped me hang it up on the wall.”

Mingyu didn’t know. He really didn’t know that Wonwoo has been through all of that. He felt really bad for thinking Wonwoo was just some spoiled child who likes to messing around. That’s entirely the opinion based on what he looks on a daily basis. Reckless Wonwoo who skipped on classes but somehow capable to avoid the punishment, happy Wonwoo who played guitar during P.E class and ended up making the whole class sang together with him. What makes Mingyu disappointed on himself is that he was there, lived across from the man but he’s clueless, even _useless_.

“I’m sorry you had to went through that alone.”

“It was sad, yes,” Wonwoo adds. “But actually kinda fun. My friends, especially Jihoon were mostly spending their time at my house after school and helped me folded the paper.”

“If I knew, I would help you too...”

“But you didn’t, right?” Wonwoo wasn’t trying to be sceptical because he said it in such a playful tone. “You know sometimes I wonder why we’re not even trying to be friends at that time.”

“Maybe mostly because I was scared of you.”

“ _Me?_ You scared of me?”

“You made me nervous, Wonwoo. I don’t even know the reason why. Even now, you still make me nervous and I’m still trying to figured how it could be.”

Wonwoo then shifts on his seat. That look on his eyes, the look he’s giving Mingyu right now is making him sad. No, Mingyu is _worried_. Because somehow he can sense something bad is about to happen. Something he’s not ready yet, something he’s been secretly avoided. His mind screaming _no_ , and he wishes soon to be woken up. He wanted to be deaf, he wanted to be blind. But he guesses it’s just wishful thinking because, in the end, Wonwoo was there safe and sound, soon to be dropping the bomb into Mingyu’s life.

“Mingyu?”

“…Yeah?”

“I had something on my mind. Something I need to tell you.”

 _No, no, no,_ please don’t.

“Go ahead, then.”

“This,” Wonwoo pointing at the gap between them and Mingyu’s eyes is following. “I’m sorry I made this happened. I kept on giving you mixed signals when I knew I shouldn’t. _I— you’re—_ you said you wanted to be friends but I made it impossible to happen. It’s my fault and I’m sorry. But now… now I think I should stop.”

“Stop?”

“I wanted us to be friends, a normal one.”

Mingyu then feeling half of his souls happen to be gone, floating towards the sky. That’s not even the proper words to describe but his brain is seemingly to be in dysfunction. “Why aren’t we normal?”

“Mingyu… you know why.”

Mingyu remembered ever said once that if this whole thing with Wonwoo ended up hurting him, then he wouldn’t mind. Today he proves it not as easy as he thought it would be. The thing people said about it’s easier to surrender even for a pretend just so you can still keep something’s closer? Mingyu thinks it was what he’s about to do now. He surrenders, hoping it was something that will keep Wonwoo closer eventhough it wouldn’t be the same ever again.

“I understand, Wonwoo. I know my limits so you don’t need to tell me this. But I hate seeing you blaming yourself.” Mingyu breaths, eyes lingering over the Origami Birds that seemingly looks enchanting in so many colours. Not like him right now. “We’re okay.”

Wonwoo’s expression doesn’t change, but he gnaws on his lower lips nervously. This time Mingyu knew it doesn’t aim in a good way. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I? Don’t you know that I genuinely care about you, Wonwoo? I don’t like seeing you sad, nor getting hurt. I wanted to protect you in any way possible. As a friend or whatever it would be, you are really important to me.” Mingyu gives Wonwoo a small smile and then gets up from the bed. He wanted to run just so he can hide his disappointment. Mingyu then putting his palm on Wonwoo’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb. It was meaning to be a friendly gesture but Mingyu can’t help but shiver. “I just want you to know that I’m here. Always will.”

Mingyu was interrupted by someone softly knocking on the door. The man’s head peeking in a cute way, making his bangs kind of fall a little. “Hi. Your mum wanted me to tell you guys that dinner’s ready.”

Mingyu soon taking a big step backwards away from Wonwoo. Minghao smiles at him and of course Mingyu smiles back. Minghao is friendly and Mingyu can see it from how he initiates his hand so it can shake Mingyu’s. Then it was them bro-hugging for the first time and Mingyu feeling the blood rushing through his vain. The adrenaline made his mind flying into that night when he kissed Wonwoo. Mingyu was holding him, embracing him, and he knows it was completely the wrong thing to think about. “Thanks. Minghao, right?”

“I am.” Minghao chuckles. “So what did you guys talking about? Was it fun?”

“Not really, Wonwoo was just telling me about the origami birds.”

“Oh, yeah! Those birds.” The mullet-haired man is walking towards his boyfriend, rubbing his head softly. Wonwoo smiles, eyes avoiding Mingyu. “I also thought it was worked somehow. Right, baby?”

Wonwoo jots, and suddenly there’s a heavy tension surrounding the three of them. It’s maddening. It messing up with either Wonwoo’s or Mingyu’s mind. “It worked, Hao. I told you.”

“Okay, okay.” Minghao once again rubbing on Wonwoo’s head, then kissing it deeply. “I believe you.”

From all the things that he should be thinking of, the only matter that raising up on his mind is the fact that Minghao knew about the story first. Mingyu was busy feeling special because Wonwoo willingly told him a private story of his life, but Mingyu forgot that he wasn’t the first. He will never be the first. So then his mind starts to clicking so loud. He’s saying Minghao and Wonwoo in front of him but soon their both fade. He can’t hear a sound, he can’t see a thing.

The world is blurry and he’s willing to accept it just so he can keep Wonwoo close still.

His choice.

  
He’s choosing not to fight.

 

  
Soon Mingyu realizes, that battling with his mind can be such a pain in the ass. He hates acting like a high schooler going through a really sad broken heart but it is what it is, and life must go on.

Yet seemingly, not with his life. Mingyu was crawling, dying, and about to lose his damned mind.

It’s been so long since the last time he had the attack. Perhaps, he doesn’t even remember that he had it inside him. Moaning in pain and crying while hitting his chest repeatedly, again and again, hoping the big hole inside his chest would soon to be gone.

He’s having a trouble breathing, mostly because his lungs were betraying him and he didn’t know how to make the damn system back to work normally. Sleep is like the most impossible thing to do so he was just bewilderedly curled up on top of the cold bathroom floor.

He hears a sound, someone screaming his name. The sound becomes closer in a span of a second, then someone’s grabbing him from the floor. “Jesus Christ, Mingyu!” Jeonghan, apparently shouting at him in a very angry tone. He hasn’t heard it for a long time. “What happened to you?!”

Mingyu wanted to answer, but his tongue tied and he’s losing his ability to talk.

“Something’s happened, right? You won’t be like this if something’s doesn’t trigger you! It’s been a long time, Mingyu.”

 _I know._ The answer is right there, but Mingyu is still fighting on functioning his body and sadly he can’t feel anything. Not at all. And he wanted to feel something. He needed it like crazy. He wants the needle to stab on his flesh. He wants to see some blood.

“Hyung,” says him, out of breath.

“What?”

“Jeonghan hyung…”

“ _WHAT?!_ Don’t make me panic!”

Mingyu thinks he’s being delirious and the world is spinning too fast. But at least he’s still alive. So with the last couple breath that comes up from his mouth, Mingyu whispering. “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me, I need to feel something so bad..”

“Gyu, look—I think we need to heal you first. Come on, let’s get you insi—“

“ _JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME, OKAY?!_ ”

Jeonghan jolts and fixated. The older guy was seating still before finally cups on Mingyu’s head and kiss the hell out of him.

Mingyu isn’t no longer floating but he thinks he’s officially dying right now.

He dreamt about kissing those lips for slightly too much until he’s losing counts. Years and years it becoming wishful thinking. But now that he finally did it, his brain does something bizarre instead.

 

Right there, somewhere around the corner, the taste of someone else’s lips linger.

 


	5. Beam Me Up Lock & Load

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my fingers started to dance over the keyboard and everything came up just like that. thank you, here's for all of you guys. i hope it's the kind of ending you've been waiting for.

Sometimes,

We know we deserve more

But are willing to accept less,

To not let go of the person we crave most.

  

You know those scenes in the movies, where the main characters are finally picking up on their mistakes then later on do some major life-makeovers to reach the point of a new self, a new identity and a new experience? The scene usually is played on fast forward, a true turning point where everything seems to little by little going in the right direction for the second time? And it was suddenly a whole new world, when they realized the only thing they gotta do is just to make themselves believe in themselves.

For Mingyu, it’s like telling himself that he’s not supposed to be wasting his time for something obviously impossible, rather than matching his pace of what he should prioritize in the first place and ignore the rest. So he ran for months, go back to what takes him to the roots of his passion, and heal himself.

It was pretty much embarrassing for him to be at his vulnerable phase and even caused something utterly big, but it’s a good thing Jeonghan understands. They never talked about what happened that night except for the main reason that caused Mingyu to be in such a mess. Jeonghan, as a prodigy as himself could ever be, was Mingyu’s number one defender more than his parents ever had. He was very angry when he tucked Mingyu into the bed that night after the kiss and lay beside him afterwards. Still, with a shaky voice, the tall man desperately poured out what he felt in Jeonghan’s arm. And that was it, the last night Mingyu ever slept on his own bed and decided to focus on the Grand Prix tour.

Jeonghan insisted that going back home makes him weak, it messes up with all the thing Mingyu already had on the line. So Mingyu busying himself learning about new things in every country he visited. Doing culinary, taking shots here and there with his camera, learned about local culture, and practising for the final race.

It was his mom, who once or twice times a week will have a video conversation with him and telling him about what happened out there.

“Do you know your aunt Yeseul who lives in Anyang? His daughter Minseo is gonna get married this Saturday. _Oh_ , I remember that time when you and Minseo always insisted to take a shower together after swimming in the backyard pool. You both were still a cute little bean! Minseo would cry everytime you had to go back to Seoul.”

“Yeah, I remember Minseo.”

“Of course you do. She’s looking forward to meeting you soon! I couldn’t even imagine how thrilled she was.”

“Oh. Um, mom?” Mingyu scratches his neck in reflect. “I don’t think I will come to Minseo’s wedding?”

“Why?”

“Well, _y’know…_ I’ve got so much going on here.”

“But you barely come home anymore!” The woman’s voice becomes sulky in a span of a second. “Even Wonwoo always spent his time at least once to eat Pumpkin Porridge with me and you’re my son Mingyu, not him.”

Mingyu shivers hearing the name but then shrugs it away. “I know, I’m the worst.”

“Wonwoo always asking me when you will be home, that poor boy. Aren’t you guys talking to each other?”

“We did,” Mingyu pauses, gulping for a moment. “ _Yeah_ , we did.”

“Then why he looks so sad everytime he asked about you? I rarely have seen the boy sad and I can guarantee you about it. He always looks as radiant as the sun.”

 _Oh yes, he did._ Mingyu thought himself, smiling.

“You know what, mum? I’ll call him after this. You don’t need to worry.”

“That’s great, honey. I bake some brownies today and I think I’m going to head to the Jeon’s and give the boy some.”

“Yeah mom,” Mingyu having the time when he feels swallowing it’s a hard thing to do. “That would be nice.”

His mom then put the phone off, and once again Mingyu is alone with his thought. It’s not that they didn’t contact each other, they did. The few first months of Mingyu sudden-runaway. Mingyu is trying hard to be subtler everytime Wonwoo talks about Minghao on the phone because honestly, nothing’s wrong with that. It’s completely normal for your friends to talk about their boyfriends with you and for once or twice asking for relationship advice. It could’ve been a normal thing if only Mingyu didn’t feel triggered everytime Minghao’s name coming from Wonwoo’s delicate lips.

The only problem is that the phone calls eventually lead to a bigger lie whenever Wonwoo asked about his return.

“I have so much fun thing on my mind about what we should do when you come home." 

“I don’t doubt the power of you and your crazy ideas, Wonwoo.”

“Come home, then! It’s really not fun without you here.”

“I can’t for now… Sorry.”

Soon it was a dead end from both sides, so they put it out on their minds that forcing things out will only be a useless thing to do. “Hey, I saw from the TV yesterday…”

“Yeah?”

“That guy they assumed as your boyfriend? Is it true? Not that I don’t like it or anything and i know it’s not my right to ask but I just thought we’re some sort of friends and I’d rather hear something from you first rather than from the media?” Wonwoo’s voice sound terrified in the end, and Mingyu can’t help but feel warm.

“Gossip.”

“ _Ah_ … what a pity ‘cause I’m happy for you. Y’know, you never tell me about your crush or anything. Why is that?  You scared I accidentally exposed it to the world?”

“ _Jesus, no._ ” Mingyu chuckles in disbelief. “No, no, no. Of course I believe you. I will willingly tell you everything. But I don’t—I just didn’t think I had a crush on anyone at the moment?”

How can Mingyu even say it so sure and blatantly, he didn’t know. But talking about Jeonghan _especially_ to Wonwoo makes his stomach grumble, and Mingyu isn’t really keen on talking about something he’s not even sure anymore. After that night when he finally beat up his teenager curiosity about what would it like to kiss Jeonghan, everything became so blurry. Like he wasn’t sure if he liked it, but he was glad he did it in a way. Thus, he’s not necessarily wanted to do it again or be proud of it. He also feels like sucker-punching himself in the face everytime he sees Seungcheol. But for as far as he knows is that he thinks he slowly and a bit by bit is preparing himself to let Jeonghan go, and it’s going progressively neat.

But does he had a crush on anyone right now? _Man,_ that’s a hard one to answer.

Eventually as the times goes by, no one realizes they didn’t do the call anymore. Phone calls are just a discourse, and text just being a ghost word. They were forgotten, even of each other. Mingyu guesses it’s a nature, he knew it wouldn’t last long anyway.

He was lonely to be honest. He didn’t want to hang out with Jeonghan that much in case his dumbasses brain is trying to coherent something bizarre for the nth times and mess up their friendship once again, and he’s too scared to hang out with Seungcheol because God knows he can’t filter his mouth, and one last important thing to be considered: he can’t lie to people. 

The disaster happened anyway, because it’s not Mingyu’s life if it doesn’t create world war III right in front of everyone’s faces.

“Seungcheol hyung.”

Siping on his cigarette and breath the smoke away from his mouth also nose, the said man hums. His eyes fully focus on the game he plays on the phone but sometimes Seungcheol can be a multifunctional prick. “Yeah?" 

“Hyung.”

“I said what’s up, Gyu. Shoot away.”

“Can’t. This is serious. We have to, like, look at each other’s in the eye.”

“Oh no,” Seungcheol slowly put his phone away. “I don’t wanna kiss you.”

“Who said I want to—” then the realization sink into his brain. “ _Oh._ Um. So? You already knew?”

“Of course I already knew. Me and Jeonghan build our relationship with thrust.”

“What a,” The tall man gulps. “A kind of relationship I aspire to be.”

The other man chuckles, but he put his hand around the younger, trying to hug him closer. “I don’t take it personally since you’re a wreck when you asked for that—I’m so sorry about what happened by the way—but I swear to God if you plan on doing it again sometime in the future imma smash you outta your head. Agree?" 

Mingyu nods forcefully. “Agreed.”

“Splendid. Now we're good, man.”

“Hyung…”

Seungcheol cringes hearing the younger’s tone but manages to survive by distancing himself. “Don’t be gross and started to thank me in a pity sound. This isn’t _Sweet Home Alabama_.”

“Fuck you.” Mingyu then giggles, but there’s a warm tingle inside his chest and a room for finally breath normally.

 

 

It’s the day of the final race. After 3 years consecutively drowned in the glory of being the first, this year Mingyu has to swallow his pride and accept just being the second best. It was mindblowing at first, a big amount of chaos disappointment happened inside his head. Even just by carrying the burden as his father’s son, Mingyu sometimes had to work ten times harder and now the world seems to enjoy putting him in a mess of conspiracy. But it was okay though, Mingyu talked to his dad that night. That he was sorry, and he was tired. He had so much on his plate that’s not always about racing.

Mingyu do love racing. Little Mingyu would get a sneak peek at his father’s garage when the said man occupied with his motorbike, Mingyu’s eyes sparkling in excitement. That someday he will have his own bike, his own helmet, and his own trophy. Seeing his son taking it from his blood, his dad started to put Mingyu in his cage, in his own little kingdom. But it was both sides, and Mingyu is willingly the King of his father’s legacy. But lately Mingyu had only the thought of resting inside his mind.

“I miss us, dad.” Mingyu’s head is looking down, not really had the courage to look his father in the eyes. “Sometimes when I went to the restaurant alone, I saw this little family sitting together and get excited to order the menu. Then they eat together, tasted each other’s food, joking at each other, and that was that. As simple as that. But at least I know they’re happy to be together.”

His dad was pretty much in shock seeing Mingyu shed little tears because obviously his son never does that, not ever since his teenage year. He forgot that his son could possibly have another life aside from racing and the thought makes him feel utterly sorry for his son.

 **“** I wanna go home, dad. For real this time.” Says Mingyu one last time, before finally hugging his dad. It was a momentum occasion, if only his mother’s here she will take her phone out and capture the very right moment.

His dad suggesting for a hiatus. He said Mingyu still had so much ahead, so it’s okay for him to take a rest for a couple year. The man didn’t say anything but Mingyu knew he also missed him. He missed them spending time like the old time that’s why he let something as big as this happening.

“This is your chance to find someone and get married, okay? Remember your age. Then after that I will forcefully drag you to return to the field.”

Even with the lack of expression and tough words on the line, Mingyu smiles at this father. “I will.”

 

 

 

Mingyu still didn’t know why and how, the evil conspiracy always brings him back to these exact point. He’s dumbfounded for about a few minutes, standing in the front of the hospital and backtracking a couple of possible reason why he was there. Well first, the thought of surprising Wonwoo is the main reason why he’s here; but right now he’s no more than a wrecked nervous mess.

What if the man already forgot about him? What if Wonwoo decided that he’s entirely banned Mingyu from his life? What if he’ll be leaving with rejection for God’s know how much already? So many what ifs his legs starting to shake.

Mingyu wasn’t really had the right picture on his head about the said hospital. Two times being here, he was whether confused or in a rush. There’s a little beautiful aquarium around the lobby corner that quite catching the eye and it was the first time ever Mingyu seeing it.  He approaches the receptionist in hesitation but asks anyway.

“Hello sir, how can we help you?” said the receptionist in a friendly way.

“Uh, hi. Do you know where I can find Dr. Jeon?”

“Do you already have an appointment?”

“Oh no,” Mingyu shakes his head. “I mean, no. I’m not here to do medical checkups or anything. I’m _—_ I’m his friend.”

“Ah, I see then.” The receptionist nods then call someone over the phone. So Mingyu waits.

Five minutes later, he was looking at the aquarium idly when finally decided to turn his back. There, Wonwoo standing while folding his hands in front of his chest and Mingyu is taking a few steps back until his shoulder hit the aquarium. The man’s expression is unreadable, but for the first time in a while Mingyu realized how sharp that jaws of him, and how black was his hair. It seems never change its identity, and Mingyu also thinks the man looks best in the said colour. He didn’t cut his hair. Instead it grows longer, and the fact makes Mingyu having a little trouble in concentrating his mind into a certain point. It’s not even a minute and yet, Mingyu already put out all his energy to prevent his finger into the man’s fluffy hair. The urge is so strong until Mingyu wants to puke.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” Says the man in a ‘Wonwoo’s distinctive seduce tone’.

“Why didn’t you just call me?”

“I don’t wanna interfere you with your precious fish.”

“Funny.”

Wonwoo laughs, unfolding his hands. What Mingyu didn’t expect is for the man to come and hug the hell out of him, making the world spins around and every goddamn single thing vanishes in front of his eyes; it’s just them. Mingyu and Wonwoo.

“God, I was worried as hell.” Says the man, murmuring on Mingyu’s shoulder.

“About what?”

“You being here. I thought you deadass breaking your legs or something and I had to operate you again.”

“What a wild imagination.”

“Quite the sarcasm, I was being serious. I already said it I’d rather don’t see you forever rather than seeing you hurt.”

“But I’m not hurt right now.”

“Good then.” Wonwoo hugs the man even closer, hands wrapped tight around the neck. His feet tiptoeing a little bit, trying to adjust the man’s abnormal height. But it was such an endearing sight, and once again a piece of missing puzzle has finally found its place. “Are you on holiday?" 

“Yeah.”

“How long?”

“Quite a while.”

The lanky man then slowly let go of the man, trying to find his eyes. “You mean it’s more than one week?”

“It’s more than one week.”

“More than two weeks?”

Mingyu giggles, Wonwoo looks so innocent, so pure. “It’s more _more_ than two weeks.”

“That’s weird. Is—is everything okay? Oh no, are you being disqualified?!”

Again, the tall man giggles. This time he’s following his sense to pat Wonwoo in the head and the man just—purr. Like a cat. Mingyu almost had a heart attack. “Everything’s okay.”

“So… you mean like… we can play now?”

“We definitely can."

Slowly a bit by bit, Wonwoo is smiling from ear to ear. It’s like witnessing flower blooms, thousands of dusted pinks scattered in the air. And it’s like fireworks, glittering in so many pretty explosions reflected in your eyes solid and delinquent. And it’s like a cup of a chocolate cup on Christmas morning under the tree while you open up the present by one by one, full of surprises.

 

 

“No.”

“Mingyu…”

“No, Wonwoo.”

“Mingyu…”

“Jeon Wonwoo.” Mingyu runs his finger through his hair frustrated, then put both of his hands on the waist. “ _No._ ”

“But you said you’ll grant my wish whatever it is!" 

“You said you want to go to the _beach_ , not _skinny dip!_ ”

Despite the argument, Wonwoo pursing his lips and looking away from Mingyu in case he started to laugh out loud. “That’s the part of the agreement.”

“I don’t remember ever agree to it.” 

“Mingyu, please…”

The tall man exhales, taking a seat in the chair near him while contemplating. The air smells like the ocean, and there’s beautiful scenery as far as the eye can see. But here they are, runaway from the reality for three days and run to the end of the world just so they can debate whether they want to skinny dip or not.

Mingyu didn’t want, of course. Just because that is so wrong in so many levels. But Wonwoo thinks otherwise. The arguments lead them nowhere and Mingyu stomach already screaming for food.

“Are you perhaps… _shy_ to show me your body?”

“What? No! We’re both men, we have the same exact body shape. What’s there to shy?” He says it in such a confident, but he can’t avoid his blushing cheeks.

“ _Then_ w _hat’s the damn matter?_ ” the lanky man adds, now as desperate as Mingyu.

“It-it’s wrong! We’re talking about swimming naked and in case you forgot this is a public place!”

“’We’re not doing it right now silly, skinny dip best schedule takes around midnight.”

“Well, great. Not only we’re doing crimes by swimming naked now we’re also gonna freeze our balls off.”

“Really, Gyu? You’re panic and kind of exaggerating right now but you’re cute so I forgive you.” Wonwoo steps closer into where Mingyu sits, and the tall man widens his legs so Wonwoo can enter inside them. “Listen. You said you wanted to heal so here we are, away from everybody. But I also want my skinny dip! It’s a win-win solution.”

Again, Mingyu exhales. Because there’s nothing he can do best when it comes to facing the other man. He can be persistent in his own way and Mingyu wouldn’t even realize that he’s already lost. Wonwoo presents like the magic itself, and it's countless how many times Mingyu’s enchanted.

“Can we please eat first and talk about this later?”

Wonwoo gets Mingyu up with his hands, pat him in the shoulder. “No further discussion because we’re going skinny dip. And eating is what we’re gonna do right now.”

Wonwoo’s idea for their dinner is to eat by the beach. They ordered so many seafood and Wonwoo looks so happy when the waiter bring the lobster into the table. Despite being mesmerized by the view, Mingyu is more interested in seeing the lanky man eat. Not like Mingyu who eats in a big portion at once, Wonwoo is more a picky eater and eat in such a small portion. That makes Mingyu genuine worried.

“Won?”

“Yeah?”

“You need to eat more.”

“I am eating more.”

“You’re saying you usually eat less than this?”

The said man enjoyably chewing his food. “I can’t eat much.”

Mingyu then picks one grilled squid and put it on top of Wonwoo’s rice. “Eat more when you’re with me, yeah?”

Wonwoo smiles and does the same to Mingyu.

After eating, Wonwoo told Mingyu to wait for him by the beach. After changing his clothes into short pants and black t-shirt, he grabs a few beers and brings it with him. Mingyu sits alone then, feeling the air hitting through his face. The ocean looks calm yet scary at the same time but at least it’s the kind of healing he wanted to get. Without any machine sound, or people shouting his name.

It took Mingyu almost twenty minutes and two bottles of beers to finally sees Wonwoo walking towards him. The man also already changed his clothes into short pants and a lousy white t-shirt that looks too big on him. Mingyu seemingly never had clothes that fit him and Mingyu sometimes wanted to take care of him so bad.

“Why it took you so long?”

The man sits beside Mingyu, shakes away the sand out of his hands. “Trying to find this on my bag.” Wonwoo hands him a pack of paper in different colour and instantly recognize what it is. “I want to fold this with you during our trip. But this time not just folding it, but also write down our own wishes.”

“You want to fold one hundred paper by ourself?”

“We can do this.”

“I don’t know, Wonwoo. You’re stressing me out.”

Wonwoo chuckles, trying to elbow the tall man. “Nah, you love me.”

They start to fold it then after Wonwoo teach him how to shape the paper. But good thing Mingyu is a fast learner so it wouldn’t be a big problem. They talk about everything to repay what they’ve been missing all these months. Mostly Wonwoo interrogating Mingyu ‘cause the other man already talked too much.

“How’s Minghao? You guys good?”

“We’re good, yeah.” The man hums, voice horsing. “A few weeks ago he was awarded as the youngest wine entrepreneur in Korea and he’s been very busy lately. But it was good, and I’m proud of him.”

“Wow that was amazing. Tell him I say congratulation.”

“Will do.” Wonwoo smiles sincerely. “What about you? What’s your plan now?”

Mingyu picks a blue paper and folds it slowly. “Dunno. Mostly resting and probably find a new activity. Oh, and maybe getting married.”

Wonwoo’s hand stops working, eyes focusing on the sand. “That’s… good. Who’s the lucky girl? Or guy?”

The tall man snorts. “Yeah, about that? I’m not really sure.”

“May I know?”

“Know what?”

“What you’re looking for?”

The question left the man hanging, officially abandoning the paper and now put his palm in the back to hold himself while looking straight at the ocean. The water looks clear, and the moon shines on it. Such a perfect night to be melancholic. “Well I mean… I just want them to be in the right sense when it comes to making decisions. How we will live, how we will manage our financials, how we will behave as parents, and how we will respect our marriage... something like that.” Mingyu stops when he sees the other man furrowing his eyebrow. “Why? too complicated?”

“No,” Wonwoo adds. “Not at all.”

“Good then.” Mingyu turning his head to face Wonwoo then smiling softly. The man beside him smiles back and they guess it’s just how they communicate, simple yet full of meaning.

By the time they folded almost one hundred origami birds, the beach is already empty from people. Maybe because it was too freezing and wise people will definitely choose to stay in their warm hotel room. Not like them. Wonwoo suddenly gets up and stretch his hand towards Mingyu. “Come on.”

“What?”

“Take off your clothes.”

Mingyu gulps. “Uh…”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, then taking initiates to do the first action. The man really did, and it took a long time for Mingyu’s brain to proceed. Mingyu can hear clothes fall on top of the sand, he can also hear his loud heartbeat. He’s looking away because he’s trying to respect the man but Wonwoo laughs at him instead. “This isn’t hide and seek, Mingyu. You’re allowed to see.”

Mingyu would rather die.

“I’m going in first, yeah?”

Still looking away, he nods. 

For about two minutes, that’s what he did. He keeps looking away until he’s sure Wonwoo’s body is all in the water. Mingyu then takes off his shirt nervously, his short pants next, and then his boxers. He’s walking into the water with a loud thump inside his chest, eyes close. By the time his feet touching the water Mingyu shivers from the coldness. Wonwoo already grinning from ear to ear when he’s looking at Mingyu walking towards him. His collarbones look as white as milk, the moon illuminates his face.

“Hi.” Says Wonwoo as soon as Mingyu stands right in front of him.

“Hi.”

“So…?”

“I can’t feel my thighs." 

The lanky man throwing his head back, nose scrunching in a cute way. “That’s concerning.”

“What now?”

“We dip our head.”

“Yeah? Let’s do it so we can get out faster.”

They dip their heads, then. Wonwoo jokingly put his palm on top of Mingyu so the man can’t get out from the water. The tall man does the same for the sake of revenge but not really put an effort into it. After they both get out from the water, a blissful laugh coming from their mouth, echoing in the thin air.

“My eyes sore!”

“This is literally your idea, Jeon.” And then they laugh again, splashing water into each other. “I swear to God this water is salty as hell!”

“It’s the sea, moron! What do you expect?!” Again, Wonwoo splashing the water unstoppably.

They play until their balls literally freezing and the sound of Wonwoo gritting his teeth becoming louder and louder. Mingyu doesn’t know what suddenly gets into him, but he hugs the man. Mingyu hugs him tight, putting his chin on top of Wonwoo’s head. After a few minutes staying like that Mingyu then cup both of Wonwoo’s head with his palm before uniting their foreheads. They were so close. _So, so close_ even Mingyu can feel the man’s breath through his skin. What’s gotten into him is still a mystery, but he had no intention of letting go. Slowly but sure, Mingyu pulls Wonwoo’s face closer until their lips meet and it was Mingyu who did all the work. The kiss starts softly and gentle, Wonwoo moaning a little when Mingyu accidentally bites his lower lip. And then it was cold and wet, and Mingyu devours the said lips with all the energy he had left. It sounds so erotic, so dirty, and God knows how Wonwoo’s lips are making Mingyu melts. Wonwoo then jumps and cling into Mingyu, hands folding behind his head. Mingyu’s hands moving down and hold Wonwoo’s ass tightly. The kiss now spreading into their throat and Wonwoo whimpering in misery. There’s no space between their body and the lanky man won’t stop dry humping him.

“Mingyu…” Wonwoo panting, breathless, desperate for friction. “You promised… we’re going to be normal and this is— _ah_ —this isn’t." 

Mingyu too, feeling his mind is messing up with his head but he can’t stop. Mingyu grunts when his hands gently kneading the tall man’s ass, fingers tracing the hole. Mingyu then lowering himself to Wonwoo’s chest, eyes focusing on the delicious nipples in front of him. “Can I suck it off? I really want to suck it.”

“Gyu…”

“Please say yes.” Mingyu is different tonight, and the stern command had Wonwoo shivering. It was actually kinda hot, tall awkward Mingyu is finally taking a command. Wonwoo can’t help but feel completely turned on.

“ _Yes_ , but—” Wonwoo whimpering when Mingyu starts to suck his nipple out, the sensation got him rolling his eyes and he’s feeling like he’ll going to faint. “Oh God please don’t stop.” 

Mingyu had no intention of doing so. 

Wonwoo’s hand messing up with Mingyu’s hair. Gripping, ruffling, pulling, and Mingyu didn’t mind. He moans even louder when Mingyu touches his bulge, eyes looking at him warily. “May I?”

No answer from the other man but that doesn't necessarily mean no. So Mingyu grips both of their erections very slowly then starts to thrust in random pace. “ _Holy fuck_ it feels so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Wonwoo is panting, groaning, clearly asking for more. But Mingyu didn’t just give it easily, the man is enjoying Wonwoo whimpering beside his ear, so he’s slowing his pace deliberately just so he can piss the other man.

Wonwoo is clearly pissed, because as soon as he feels the friction getting faded the man slaps Mingyu biceps rather harshly. “If you want to do it then do it properly before I cut your dick and your hand as well.”

“But I think you’re the one who needed my hand now.”

“Point taken but I swear to God _just—_ faster.”

Mingyu chuckles, giving the man’s a quick peck on the lips before speeding up his pace. Wonwoo looking at him while biting his upper lips like he always did, eyes rolling due to the pleasure of the friction of their joined groins and also Mingyu’s hand. Mingyu also closes his eyes, eyebrows furrowing to endure the pleasure. And then the orgasm hitting like thousands of tsunami waves. Wonwoo buries his head in the crock of Mingyu’s neck, feeling utterly overwhelming.

“You good?”

Wonwoo can feel the vibration of Mingyu’s voice inside him. “I am.”

“How was it?”

“It’s nice.”

“Just nice?”

The lanky man knows Mingyu is pouting right now eventhough he can’t see it. “Okay it was mindblowing.”

“Did I do better?”

“Better than what?”

“Better than Minghao.”

Wonwoo then furrowing his eyebrow, raising his head and give Mingyu the funny face. “What’s with you tonight?" 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, you seem… confident. And brave. You made all of this happened, Mingyu. I didn’t even do anything.”

Honestly, Mingyu rather not think about it. He’s tired of thinking, and he’s clearly tired of questioning himself. He just shrugs his shoulder and then hugs Wonwoo. “I don’t know.”

“You okay?”

“I guess so."

They get out of the water. Walking slowly through the sand, clothes completely wet when they wear it again. No one bothers to say anything, but Mingyu stills reach for Wonwoo’s finger and hooking their pinkie. Wonwoo stays silent, but his mind is clearly busy in so many thoughts at once. But he was tired, so he thought it can be tomorrow’s homework. For now, he just wanna sleep. But he can’t help it. No matter how helplessly tired his brain, he can’t help but think.

_What the hell they just did?_

 

 

The next day, Mingyu is bringing breakfast to Wonwoo’s room. The man is talking to someone on the phone so Mingyu waits and sits on his bed. It’s Minghao, they seem so lovely and Mingyu’s chest is suddenly on fire. The phone took so long, Mingyu sits there like an idiot listening to them being sweet to each other and it’s actually maddening. He didn’t want to listen but he didn’t want to leave Wonwoo’s side either. By the time the phone call ended, Mingyu looking like someone just punch him in the guts. He was pissed without reason, and no one hates him more than Mingyu hates himself.

“Good morning.” Says the man, approaching Mingyu. The scenario is almost identical like the other day, Mingyu sitting on the edge of the bed widening his leg and Wonwoo stands inside it. This time, he pecks Mingyu’s lips softly and for a slightly second Mingyu melts. “You brought me breakfast?”

“Mhm.” Mingyu hums. “Why the phone takes so long?”

“Well you know, I was too caught up with you yesterday and didn’t have the time to talk to him so now he demands all my time. Why? Jealous?” Wonwoo smile is cheeky, he even leans on to snuggles their nose together. But not with Mingyu, the man is clearly pissed. “Mingyu? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“ _Gyu._ ”

“I don’t know what’s wrong, Wonwoo. _Oh,_ maybe the fact that I had to sit here listening to you being sweet to another man?”

“What?” Wonwoo now sounds pissed too. “Mingyu, he’s technically my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, that why! That’s why, Wonwoo! Don’t you understand?”

“Mingyu I don’t know what’s wrong with you, really. Minghao being my boyfriend it’s not news you’re hearing just now.”

“See, I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“THEN MAKE ME!” the black haired man shouts, voice coming desperately. “Fuck Mingyu you’re—you’re really—I don’t even know what this is. But you really crossing your line." 

Mingyu snorts, laugh coming rather bitter. “Go ahead, put the blame on me. Like you always did right, Won?”

“ _Mingyu._ ”

“So you’re free playing on with my feeling but when i’m the one who did that, it becomes entirely my fault. I’m the one who’s crossing the line. Fine. What else is my fault? List it down. I have all the time in the world." 

“Kim Mingyu stop talking.” Wonwoo gritting his teeth.

“What else, Wonwoo? You can flirt with me, do all your crazy ideas, and it’s for the sake of our friendship. I jerked you off _once_ , and it’s automatically sending me to jail. Is that right?”

“I SWEAR TO GOD STOP TALKING!” Mingyu freezes on his place, breath becoming hard. The scream was indeed loud, and Mingyu can see it in Wonwoo’s eyes how furious the man is. Wonwoo taking a few steps back away from him, shaking his head disbelief. Then he immediately packing up his suitcase in a hurry, pull out one of his army hoodies and wear it recklessly. After done with his suitcase, he says something to Mingyu in an eerie tone. “Take me home.”

“Are you seriously rather going home than talk to me and settle this?”

“Fucking take me home or I will drive the car myself and leave you here.”

Without saying anything, the tall man gets up from the bed and walking into his room to get the keys and his suitcase as well.

In the car, it was like a mind bloodbath between them. No one’s talking and the only sound surrounding them is just the car’s engine and their breath. Mingyu is trying to glance at the man a few times but Wonwoo wasn’t even interested in turning his head at him.

So Mingyu reaches for Wonwoo’s hand, entangling their fingers. Still no reaction from the other man, Mingyu then bring the hand into his lips and kissing it repeatedly. Wonwoo still isn't reacting but didn’t pull his hand either, so Mingyu decided to keep it that way. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, Wonwoo.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

“—oh my God shut up!” Wonwoo chuckles, bringing his palm to cover the tall man’s mouth. “You’re pathetic, you know that? I really hate you.”

“Am I forgiven?”

“No I’m just gonna cover your mouth so you can stop talking.”

Mingyu laughs, pulling the petite man closer.

 

 

 

Mingyu didn’t come out from his room for two days, and it’s been a week since the last time he saw Wonwoo after all that chaos happened. It was Friday night one day later when Mingyu’s phone rings with Wonwoo’s name on it. It’s nervewracking, Mingyu even considers not to pick it up but thank God he isn’t because as soon as he pushes the green button, all he was hearing is Wonwoo’s sobbing on the phone.

“Wonwoo? What’s wrong?”

“Gyu...”

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop crying and answer me first. What’s wrong?”

“Can you come here?” Mingyu never hears Wonwoo crying before and when he did it’s fucking messing up with his mind.

“Where are you?”

“Muh—My room.”

“Okay,” Mingyu exhales breathlessly. “Okay I’m going right now.”

When Mingyu arrives at Wonwoo’s house and Mrs. Jeon telling him to just knock the door, the room was dark and Mingyu is trying to find the lamp button first. He can see Wonwoo curling on his bed, eyes red and blanket wrapped around his body. He tries to wipe his tears when he sees Mingyu but more of the tears streaming down anyway. Mingyu walking towards the man and snuggles him into his arm, helping it will endure the other’s man pain because he looks desperately in misery.

“God, Wonwoo… What happened?”

“I-I was—” he hiccups. “I—”

“Hey, breath, talk slowly and take your time. I’m here.”

Wonwoo nods, once again trying to wipe his tears. Once he’s calming down, the man starting to talk. “I was missing you the other day. I missed you so much but I hate you, Mingyu. I don’t want to swallow my pride and call you. So I was—” Wonwoo hiccups again. “I watched _When Harry Met Sally_ for the second time. Y-Your favourite. Just so I can feel your presence.”

Mingyu buries Wonwoo deeper into his chest, caressing the man’s hair. “That’s nice Wonwoo… What’s wrong then?”

“I saw the scene when Sally said she saw this man and this woman with two little kids, one of them was up in the man’s shoulder. She started to cry when she saw the family then later Sally told his fiancé she wanted to get married but her fiancée is clearly don’t. I guess I kinda relate to her in a way because when I permeate everything she says, I feel the same way. I also inspired by you when you talked about marriage the other day. I wanna have a family, Mingyu. So I called Minghao immediately. I asked him, _why don’t we just get Married? I wanna have our own little family. We can adopt one cute little boy and girl each._ But he just—he said this wasn’t the right time. His business is growing, and he didn’t think he had the time. I hung up the phone and I haven’t talked to him ever since.”

“Did he tried to call you, though?”

“Yeah, countless time. But I really didn’t wanna talk to him, not at the moment. I know it’s childish to run from our problem instead of discussing it. I should’ve understood, I should’ve not pushed it. But I’m freaking thirty, Mingyu. He wants me to wait until _when_?”

Honestly, Mingyu didn’t know. He’s not even expert on the field. The only thing he can do is comfort the man. Mingyu doesn’t even dare to tell that everything is gonna be okay because no guarantee it will, and he doesn’t want to blabber some bullshit. They sit there for so long, Mingyu never let Wonwoo go from his embrace.

“What do you want to do now?”

“I don’t know, I can’t let him go. I guess I just have to wait until he lets me go himself.”

The thought of it makes Mingyu feels infuriated, but he’s not going to interfere with their problem. Not anymore. “Do what you think best for both of you, okay? But I don’t like seeing you like this. If Minghao doesn’t come to his sense and fix this problem I’m gonna hunt him down to the end of the world.”

Despite the tears, Wonwoo chuckles in humour. “Are you sure you can fight him? He can do martial arts.”

“I’m taller than him.”

“Not helping.”

“Bigger than him.”

“Still not helping.”

“I had strong abs and muscles.”

Wonwoo giggles. “Yeah, that one helps.”

Mingyu also giggles with him, thumbs wiping the man’s tears. “But seriously, talk to him.”

“Mhm, I will.” Wonwoo hums. “So you’re admitted you look sexy with your strong abs and muscles?" 

“ _Oh, shut up!_ ”

 

 

 

Accustomed to ending something was totally on Wonwoo’s book. He had come and gone so many times, thinking goodbye is the answer and he could just start of something new whenever he wants. Those were the days, a fun little game. But ending a two years relationship where you really put your heart and soul into it was completely a different field. The man has become every part of Wonwoo’s history for the past said years and it’s terrible to suddenly erase someone and get them out of your life’s structure.

It’s unfortunate Minghao wasn’t a bad guy that Wonwoo can easily hate. It’s unfortunate Minghao’s never been a jerk and hurt him to the bone because now everything is harder than it should be. He’s the one who caused so much damage to their relationship behind the man’s back so to come up in front him and says _I wanna break up because you seem like didn’t want to get married anytime soon and it pissed me off_ is like the most impossible, absorbed, a self-centred thing to do.

Wonwoo picks up Minghao’s call the next day like something’s never happened. Like he just didn’t spend hours to cry over it in his room. But Minghao also shrugs the problem himself. He knows Wonwoo too well and the man surely knows it’s Wonwoo’s style to never overthink on his problem. It’s kind of disappointed at some point but what else did you expect from them and their dense head.

Days gone by until on one Sunday morning Wonwoo is making a toast in the kitchen and Minghao come, hugging him from behind. Snuggling into the man’s neck, Wonwoo leaning to the touch.

“Wonwoo?”

“Mhm?”

“Can you focus on me for a while?”

So Wonwoo put down the strawberry jar and the spoon from his hand, turning his back to face his boyfriend properly. “Why?” Out of nowhere, Minghao kisses Wonwoo’s forehead deeply. The kiss feels sad, Wonwoo somehow can sense it. The man did it for a long time until Wonwoo brings his thumbs to rub Minghao’s cheeks. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Minghao still kissing him when suddenly Wonwoo feels something wet falling on his nose. _Minghao’s tears._ Wonwoo becomes panic, but no matter how many times he asks what’s wrong the man doesn’t answer him. Until finally Minghao stepping back, giving him and Wonwoo a little gap in the middle. “I let you go.”

Just that sentence. That one sentence and his world are falling down upon him and crumble into pieces. He can’t feel his legs, his face is numb, his sight is blurry. “What? Minghao, I’m okay. _We’re okay._ ”

“We're never okay, love. Not until I let you go.” Says the man, voice full of heartbreak. “I’m sorry for caging you, for keeping you so long… You can fly as high as a bird now."

It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t even make sense for his heart to feel this hurt. This new level of maddening is bombarding his entire wholebeing in one go and Wonwoo thinks he’s going to faint. He loves him. Wonwoo loves this man so much so the thought of going through his day without him starting anytime soon dysfunction all his nerve.  So many things happened at once Wonwoo feels bewildered.

“I don’t want you to go, okay? Let’s call this bullshit off.”

The mullet-haired man just smiles. He looks tired, there’s a black circle around his eyes and Wonwoo knows it’s because he’s been overworking himself for a couple of months. His skin looks dry, almost like he didn’t take care of it. “Can I see your kid when you happen to have one someday?”

“Minghao, stop…" 

“I want to tell them that they had the best dad in the world.”

“God, I can’t do this.” Wonwoo pushes Minghao away and hit the man’s chest repeatedly but later hug him tight, embracing him.

But some things are meant to be unfixed. Wonwoo guesses it’s time for him to have another goodbye, and to once again put all the blame on himself. Maybe it was his fault to asked the man about marriage so soon. Maybe it was his fault because he's scaring people out. Maybe it was his fault, no one wants to be with him. He brings destroyed upon them because he wants his own happy family.

Nonetheless their story can only become another page of a book with _the end_ written on the bottom of the last pages. Then as time goes by, the paper will become frail and burn into ashes.

 

 

 

A few days later, Mingyu got another call from Wonwoo. Still traumatized from the last time Mingyu answers it immediately.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Are you busy?”

“Just—” _Sua! Suji! You can’t eat that, okay? It’s not a fruit, it’s chilly!_ “—So sorry my nephews are here and I’m literally busy working my ass babysitting for the whole day. Why? You need me for something?”

“Your nephews are here? That’s exciting!”

“Say that again after you see yourself how evil they were.”

“Can I play with them?”

“Are you sure…?”

“Of course!”

“Okay?” Mingyu scratches his neck confusedly. “Come here then.”

“On it.”

In a blink of an eye Wonwoo is already there and Mingyu gaping his mouth at him. He looks excited, like a child waiting on the line for ice cream. “Uh… is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just excited to meet your nephews. Where is everybody?”

“Away. Some important family meeting. They leave me with those two devils instead.”

Sua and Suji then running from the kitchen, laughing so loud while pretending to chase one and another. 

“Suji, I want to be the zombie now!”

“You can’t, Sua. You have to catch me first!”

“No, I want to be the zombie now! Why can’t I be the zombie? Uncle Gyu, I want to be the zombie!!”

Mingyu jolts on his place, totally not expecting some zombie debate. “Okay, how about you catch Suji first as she said?”

“But I want it now!” Sua starting to cry on top of his lungs and Mingyu is panicking. “I don’t want to play anymore if I’m not the zombie!!”

“I hate this.” Mingyu murmuring, ruffling his own hair frustrated.

“How about we let uncle Gyu be the zombie and the three of us can hide from him?”

The new strange voice is dancing through the thin air, making Sua and Suji looking at the man weirdly. “Who are you?”

“I’m Mr. Jeon. Can I be your new friend?”

Sua and Suji immediately changing looks at each other before nodding slightly. “Yes.”

“How nice of you! Of course, sweet little girls like you guys must be kind-hearted, right?”

“We are.” Says them in harmony.

“Okay, now are we agreed on claiming uncle Gyu as the zombie?”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon!”

“Good,” Wonwoo chuckles, ruffles both of their heads and then whisper to Mingyu. “You ready zombie?”

“I don’t want to be a zombie!" 

“Very funny, zombie man. I get it, being the zombie isn’t really what you want but life surely must go on.”

“Wonwoo, you’re talking nonsense.”

“Whatever. Catch us.” Says the lanky man in a quick speed. “Girls, _run!_ ”

Still confuse adjusting with his new profession as a zombie, Mingyu walks slowly then. The three of his victims already run so fast and somehow Mingyu feels triggered to catch them. The entire situation now changing into Mingyu being obsessed over his new role.

“Run girls, run!” Wonwoo shouting at the two little girls from the other side of the room, the two of them having the time of their life laughing while running away from their dearest uncle.

The man is pretty dedicated though, seeing from how he caught his nephews already in a span of three minutes. He only had Wonwoo to catch now and the man is very persistent himself.

The two little girls watching them chasing and running from each other like it was some movie in the theatre. They sit on the sofa and clapping their hands up. “Mr. Jeon, uncle Gyu is right behind you run faster go, go, go!!”

Mingyu finally catches the man when Wonwoo trips and hit the sofa. Mingyu grabs his waist, hug him from behind and spin the said man freely. “Gotcha.”

“Put me down, you prick!” he says while laughing out loud.

“Never!”

“Oh my God put me down!”

Wonwoo’s laugh feels as a soothing melody inside his chest and Mingyu likes that sound very much. “I said never!”

Sua and Suji looking at the two uncles in a weird confusing face. “Is this mean the game now over, Sua?”

For the next couple of hours, the two of them become deadly exhausted from putting so much effort into making the girls happy. So by the time Mingyu panting and crying on the floor due to his exhaustion, he gives up. “I’m going to die.”

Wonwoo sits beside him, wheezing. “We gotta put these girls into bed.”

“Agreed,” Mingyu nods, voice muffled kissing the floor. But he raises his thumb at Wonwoo. “There’s just one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“We _can’t_ make them sleep.”

“ _Can’t we…?_ ” Wonwoo sounds less optimism. The two of them comically turning their heads towards the girls who are now currently putting fake make up to their faces. Wonwoo didn’t give up just like that and instead he gets up and shout _bedtimes stories!_ then the girls follow him into Mingyu’s bedroom. After tucking them into the bed and pull the blanket to cover them, Wonwoo sits on the edge of the bed, ruffling their messy hair.

“This blanket smells like uncle Gyu.” Says Sua in a cute way.

Wonwoo pinches the girl’s nose softly. “I know, right?”

“You also know how uncle Gyu smells like?” curious, Suji also joining their conversation.

“Of course. I like hugging your uncle.”

“Me too, me too! I like hugging uncle Gyu!” Sua and Suji voicing at the same time. It’s cute and nice, so Wonwoo gives each of them a peck on the lips. “Are you two dating?" 

The man furrowing his eyebrow at Suji’s question. “Do you know what dating is?”

“Dating is when you don’t want someone to get hurt. I don’t want my dad to get hurt so I’m dating my dad.”

“I don’t want uncle Gyu to get hurt.” Wonwoo smiling from ear to ear. “Can I ask you guys something?”

“Mhm?”

“Your uncle… do you think he likes someone? I mean, in a romantic way." 

Suji tilting his head. “What is ‘romantic’?”

“Well it’s like… your mum and dad? They love each other.”

“Mommy said uncle Gyu is sucks when it comes to talking to girls.” Sua adds.

Wonwoo chuckles, feeling embarrassed out of something Mingyu did. “That’s nice but the word ‘sucks’ it’s bad so don’t say it again okay, sweety?”

Sua nods cutely. “Okay, Mr. Jeon. So you’re dating my uncle then?”

He’s about to answer the question when Mingyu entering his bedroom, bringing two glass of milk for the girls and they look so happy when they drink it. Mingyu wipe the milk on Sua’s upper lip with his thumb and she hums a _thank you_ in reply.

“Uncle?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Do you want Mr. Jeon to get hurt?" 

“Huh?” Mingyu confusedly looking at Sua, and then at Wonwoo. “Of course no… Why?”

“Okay then, now you two are dating.” The girl pats both Mingyu and Wonwoo in the head with his little palm, and they purr at the touch.

“Girls, no matter how nice is that Mr. Jeon had a boyfriend, okay. We can’t just date because you guys said so.”

“Oh… you did, Mr. Jeon?” Sua sounds disappointed.

“I—” Wonwoo gulps. “Let’s have this conversation later, yeah? It’s nap time.”

Mingyu asks Wonwoo _what that was about?_ after they get out from the room and the girls are already sleeping, but Wonwoo teasingly smile and refused to tell.

“Tell me.”

“I told you it’s a secret.”

“It’s not a secret if I involved in it! And why are we suddenly dating?” the lanky man walking even faster, trying to avoid him. “Wonwoo!”

“ _Solve the case yourself, Sherlock!_ ”

 

 

 

“Mingyu— _fucking shit_ —” Wonwoo hisses in pain when his feet tripping on a lumber and furiously kick the thing away. “I hate this place.”

“Say that again when I finally finish all of this.”

Wonwoo grumbles, annoyed. “Well I mean if you wanted a house then hire a constructor or something. Why bother to do it yourself? I used to get all your attention now this damn house is stealing it from me.”

Mingyu put the hammer down from his hand and looking at Wonwoo in disbelief. “Did you just jealous over a house?”

“No! Why would I?!” the man feels his cheeks suddenly blushing, so he pretends to be mad. “Let’s eat, I bring ramyun.”

Both of them then sitting on the cold dirty floor, along with a few paint cans and another weird shaped thing Wonwoo can’t put the name into. They’re facing a big window and immediately can see the blue sea in front of the house. “Damn, how do you get so lucky to have this house? It’s deadass a real beach as your backyard pool, Kim.”

“A while ago you said that you hate this house.”

“I take that back.”

Mingyu chuckles while sipping his ramyun. “Interesting love-hate relationship.”

“Shut up.” Wonwoo sucker punches the tall man’s arm. “Whatever it is, still a really nice house. I feel a little bit _, a tiny little bit_ angry right now but then I thought I could just easily live in this house and you wouldn’t even mind. This must be expensive as hell, right?”

Mingyu is busy chewing than paying attention to the man. “I’m rich anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“Forget I asked.”

“What?” Mingyu laughs. “I’m old, famous and rich, Jeon. I needed a place to put my trophies.”

“Honestly? Shut up." 

Mingyu laughs even more. He tries to ruffle the other man’s head but Wonwoo rejects the action. “What’s that on the box?”

“Oh, geez, I almost forgot!” Wonwoo pulls the box between them, open it slowly so Mingyu can look upon what’s inside. “Remember this?”

“Wow, you keep it.”

“Of course I keep it. Now it’s time to open and read our wishes out loud.”

“What? No. No freaking way. Isn’t that supposed to be a secret?!”

“Come on, what can you possibly write? Embarrassing thing? I’m fine with that.”

Mingyu is making a squeaking sound. ”Please don’t make me do this.”

“Okay number one!” Wonwoo opens one of the birds. “Oh, this one’s mine. _I wish to get a promotion this year._ What a dull wish. Why did I even write that?”

Wonwoo throws the bird away and asking Mingyu to take another one. The tall man gulps, hands trembling a little bit. “This is also yours… Um… _I wish Mingyu will never get tired of me._ Wait, what? Why did you write such a thing? I will never get tired of you.”

“It’s possible, Gyu. We’re humans, we get tired of each other.”

“Okay, fine. Point taken. Can we stop now? I have to go back to work.”

Of course there’s no way for Wonwoo to ever agree with Mingyu. It’s their dynamic anyway, Mingyu refusing Wonwoo’s antics but still did it in the end. But the man never really put a big deal into it. Wonwoo somehow becomes his number one priority without himself even thinking twice.

They open the bird one by one then, abandoning the main purpose why they’re here in the first place. A few of Wonwoo’s wish was mostly includes Mingyu in it and that kinda makes his hearts flutters.

_I wish I can eat more when I’m with Mingyu._

_I wish Mingyu would agree with me to go on Bungee Jumping._ (which ended up Mingyu eyeing him so hard)

_I wish dad will never be sick again._

_I wish mom wouldn’t be too sad about her menopause._

_I wish Mingyu will never disappear again from my life._

_I know it’s selfish but… I wish Minghao will never find out about us._

When Wonwoo himself saying out loud the last wish, the man just shrugs his shoulder lightly. He doesn’t even put it into a big deal and just throw the paper away. Lately he never talks about his boyfriend in front of Mingyu anymore. Mingyu guesses Wonwoo wants to keep it as their privacy, so Mingyu never asks in return. Mingyu also didn’t want to make everything become much complicated than it should be but he knew there’s something different with the man. Instead of interrogating, Mingyu rather does something to make the man smiles. No words needed, no question being asked.

Mingyu’s wish from the paper was mostly dull.

_I wish mom will stop matchmaking me with her friend’s daughter._

_I wish dad wouldn’t be too stressed about my rank._

_I wish I can sleep 24 hours nonstop._

_I wish to never see Wonwoo cry._

Mingyu is getting nervous and nervous he can’t feel his legs.

_I wish I can figure out my mind. About what I honestly felt about Wonwoo. And if I happen to like him someday, please God, erase the feeling._

_I wish I had a chance._

By the time Wonwoo finish reading all the wishes Mingyu is looking down while closing his eyes, terrified. He’s messing up again. Why can’t he just stay out of his line? He’s looking up to check on Wonwoo with so much effort, but the man is currently stirring on his ramyun. Mingyu then jolts when suddenly Wonwoo asks him a question.

 _“_ Have you figured it out yet?”

 _Please, God, not again. “_ A-About what?”

“Your feeling.” Wonwoo still stirring on his food, Mingyu gulping nervously. “Or maybe it’s already been erased?”

The tall man whimpers, his throat feels dry. “Can we just not? Wonwoo? I mean this isn’t going to get us somewhere, okay? Either I figure it out or not, it’s useless. I’d rather not talk about it.”

“I got really traumatized, you know? After Minghao. It’s just felt like everyone will freak out if I ask them to get married. I’ve been avoiding every single people except you. It takes a lot of time more than I thought.”

“Wait, what?” Mingyu sitting straight, pull Wonwoo closer to him. “Hold on, hold on, hold on. _After Minghao?_ What do you mean?”

Wonwoo snorts, laughs bitterly. “It’s over, Gyu.”

“No way.” Mingyu’s thumb, it never stops rubbing the other man’s knuckles. “And you’re telling me this, acted as nothing happened for over three months?”

“I just—I don’t want you to pity me.”

“Wonwoo! What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry Mingyu please don’t be mad at me I can’t." 

“Of course I’m not mad at you,” Mingyu exhales. “God, I feel so stupid right now.”

Wonwoo then sitting himself on top of Mingyu’s lap, wrapping his hand on the back of Mingyu’s head then looking at him straight in the eyes. “Listen. The reason why I didn’t tell you was because _yes—_ I don’t want you to pity me and also I’m kinda embarrassed and please don’t ask me why.” The lanky man talking so fast Mingyu almost can’t keep up. “But I also scared. We have a problem Gyu, and that problem came in the form of my boyfriend. And now I knew that we don’t have to worry about that anymore I’m suddenly… I don’t think I want to be in a new relationship at the moment. Not that fast. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to, I just need time to make up my mind. I love him, Gyu. Minghao isn’t just a guy for me. It’s really not that simple.”

“Come here you silly,” Mingyu pull Wonwoo’s face so it can rest on his neck. “I don’t care about all of that, okay? I’m worried about you. You should talk to me. We can figure it out together.”

“I know, it’s my fault.”

“It’s never been your fault." 

“Please stop being so nice to me.”

“Can’t. You’re too precious.”

“Ugh, Mingyu!” still hugging the big man tight, Wonwoo sulking.

“I always knew you’re strong but not at this point, Wonwoo. I can’t believe you’re going through all of that alone.”

“Well technically I told Jihoon about it. Eventhough that little man literally has zero sense of comforting but I least I’m not going crazy.”

“That time with Sua and Suji…”

“Yeah, we already broke up.”

Mingyu laughs bitterly. “Fucking hell. _What are you?_ ”

“Your greatest nightmare,” he whispers sexily, and Mingyu pinches his nose. 

“So what now?”

“Dunno. Let’s just kiss first and figure it out later.” Wonwoo just shrugs his shoulder lightly and Mingyu can’t believe his eyes. This man is really unbelievable and he can’t believe he’s willing to follow his game.

“Let me ask you one question first.”

“Shoot.”

“Will you live here? With me? We can... you know... adopt a dog? Or maybe a real child, I don’t know. But I suck on parenting so that’s on you. But dog is totally okay.” The other man doesn’t answer him. “Wonwoo?”

“Shut up I’m going to cry.”

“Is… that a happy cry?”

“Of course, dimwit! Sometimes I forgot that you’re so dense, Mingyu.”

Mingyu never feels so grateful to breathe freely. “You’re scaring me! Jesus, I thought you hate the idea.”

“How can I?” Wonwoo adds, clearly sobbing.

“Is this the right time to kiss you or do I need to wait until you finish crying?”

The lanky man laughs, half sobbing. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

They kiss then. It more like a relief kiss, to finally be able to put down all the burden they’ve been carrying all these months. Mingyu’s chest now feels as free as it could possibly be, and he’s happy. His feeling is so messy, it’s all over the place there’s no way he can balance it. But it’s a good thing. It’s overwhelmingly good until he thinks he dreams of this. But he can feel it; how Wonwoo’s lips swallowing his. It feels tenderly soft, it’s warm, it’s everything. Mingyu can feel Wonwoo’s breath on his skin, comforting him and giving him the signal that he’s there. He’s there and he’s real. _And Mingyu had his chance_. It’s a long way to go, but Mingyu is willing to try.

Being with Wonwoo it’s like building this house. It takes a lot of times but while he’s at it, he can just enjoy the view. The excitement of how it will become, a clear picture of the future. Home also needs its foundation, to protect them from the storm. Still a lot to fix. A lot of times to be responsible on whatever’s ahead. But Mingyu is willing to try.

As long as he gets to do it with Wonwoo.

“Mingyu?”

“Mhm?”

“Take me to your bed.”

“Uh… Wonwoo? This house doesn’t even have electricity… _Well not yet_ …”

“Ugh, I hate you.”

 

“Mingyu?”

“Yeah?”

“No, I’m kidding. I love you. Maybe.”

“I love you too, Wonwoo. Maybe."

 

 

 

_“Jeonghan hyung?"_

_“Mingyu, what’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing. I just want to thank for letting me love you all these years… And now I think I can officially end this.”_

_“Gyu, that’s nice. I’m so glad to hear it. Are you happy now?”_

_“Yeah… It’s just a start but I think I’m happy. The happiest man alive.”_

[]

**Author's Note:**

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